Evaine

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xxx reflection xxx

WAKING up and loving yourself just by one look in the mirror is impossible for anyone. Especially me, though. Not because of the gruesome sight I see in it, no. I'm actually quite beautiful, if I might say so myself. It's hard to love myself due to the fakeness of the reflection.

How come my reflection is always smiling? I'm not. How come I always look okay? I'm not. How come I look like I have it all together? I don't. Oh yeah. That's what I look like on the outside.

Keeping burdens on myself is easy for me. I like to do it. Makes me feel useful for once. Not once have I shared them with anyone though. For some reason, keeping it all to me and me alone somehow just makes sense. It isn't that hard anymore either.

I have one, and only one escape from my reality; the DCU. Its amazing characters and dark humor never manages to fail at cheering me up. Of course being an 18-year-old having suffered through hell was a good life, but they just hit different; if you know what I mean.

I adored them andwished every day to descend to their world; leaving this wrongful andunrighteous world behind. I never knew that it'd come true.

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Awaking in a street, dirty with mud seems normal for beggars—but what about an 18 year old paying for rent in a run-down apartment building? Yeah no. In the body of, what, an 8-year-old, no less? Well damn. I tried to speak, and a squeaky voice came out.

I hope I looked cute. It would be easier to earn money. I went up to the side of the freezing sidewalk. There was snow and the girl I had come into the body of had nothing but a rag made of sacks poorly sewn together. I comfortably tried to position myself, but to no avail.

Forget it. Finally giving up on getting comfortable, I got to my knees and started to beg any passerby. I wasn't that neither surprised to come here nor inclined to go back, really. No one cared about me there; it's likely no one cares about me here. Not much has changed.

I put on a kind smile and started to ask around for money. Once more in another lifetime, I was beaten up by passersby. It wasn't new; so I knew to keep a smile. People started to think I was either mentally deficient or psychopathic, so even less people were giving me money.

I kept all my collected savings in a broken mud bowl. It wasn't perfect but good enough to keep the money safe. Night fell sooner than I thought and I retreated to a safe looking alley way. I soon came to the realization that I didn't know where I was. Pondering takes a long time; so by the time I was done guessing the entirety of the 50 states, night was deep.

I heard steps in the snow. Not a good sign at midnight was it?