Only Human

19

I stopped by the market on the way back to Lukes and picked out some vegitables for the dinner i have planned tongiht. Aside from a few stray wondering eyes nobody really paid much attention to my blood covered body.

I stripped my clothes off and climbed into the shower, slightly nervous at the idea that i was naked in Lukes house. I would have locked the door but none of the handles in this house seem to have a lock on them. I was thankful that he was out later than usual tonight.

I turned the nob until the water was hot enough to sting my skin a little and i scrubbed away all the dirt and blood from my aching body. Training sessions with blair were difficult. She didnt take it easy on me and my body showed it. I looked at all of the yellowing bruises that scattreed about my body from being punched and kicked. I was glad that Luke wasnt too phisical when it came to our growing relationship.

We talked alot, and ive learned alot about him in the last couple weeks. Arthur was his uncle, his father was Clark Griffin. Arthur made Clark a promise to look after his son, which he has done a fantastic job. While luke is somewhat rough around the edges hes also genuinly good. He cares for his pack and would do anything to secure their saftey.

I pulled on a dark hoodie over my white tank and shorts. I found i did my best cooking when i felt comfortble. Arthur schooled me on how to cook the meats exactly how Luke likes them. I dipped the heart in flour and dropped the slices in to a pan of sizzling butter. Apparently butter was hard to come by on pack grounds. Its not something they made on a regular basis, but when i stopped at the grazing feild the sheppard was happy to give his soon to be Luna a cup of butter.

The regard these people have for their Alpha and Luna suprise me. They treat them like kings and queens. I wasnt used to the idea of being royalty, but i was capable of being nurturing and supportive which are both traits a luna should possess.

The room smelled of seared meats and sauteed vegitables. Cuts of breaded zuccini laid underneith the perfectly cooked meats. Perfectly cooked for luke that is, which means to say its just cooked enough. Aparently Lycan have much different palates and perfer their foods fresh, meat included.

I set the table and poured us glasses of ice water. I would have enjoyed a glass of wine or two but im trying to stay sober and im doing really good at it. Something i never thought i would be doing. Honestly i was okay with being an alcoholic until i met Luke. then for some reason i felt like it was the wrong thing to do, mostly because i cared what he thought of me.

I sat on the front porch and waited for Luke to show up. The sun was going down and the air was getting cold. I worried about the food inside getting cold so i covered it and put it in the oven. Every second that passed was another i found myself feeling sad that luke didnt show up tonight. Not that i invited him to do anything but i just assumed that my first offical night moved into his house would be special, that he would be here. But he isnt… The waiting continued until i grew too tired to wait any longer. I scarfed down my plate and left Lukes on the counter.

My bed was as soft and warm as i imagined it would be. The only thing missing was Luke. i wished he would touch me more, to embrace me longer. I still get the occational hug, or a hand touch and he often walks with his hand along my lower back, but he hasnt kissed me again. I hoped i wasnt horrible. He was amazing. The way he carried me like a barbarian to my bed, swooned me and left me wanting more. So much more.

I heard a noise downstairs that sounded like someone tripping or stumbling. I crept out of my bed and down the hall. The stairway was dark but i could hear someone down stairs. I tiptoed down to the bottom step and peaked around the corner.

“You know i can hear you lurking around the corner.” lukes voice sent a chill through my spine, a thrilling chill that left me feeling like i was vibrating.

“I wasnt lurking… i was… sneaking.” i corrected him.

“If thats you sneaking, then you really need to up your game.” his critisizes were empty, meaning he didnt really mean anything of them. He seemed much louder and unsteady than his usual stern and commanding behavior.

“I cant say your any better right now.” i joked back to him as he stared into the fridge.

“Thats-because-im-drunk.” he laughed into the fridge which had been opened since i got downstairs. It was a beautiful noise, his laugh. He seemed to be glued infront of it with one hand leaned agaisnt the door. His eyes seached the contence of the fridge over and over like he was expecting something new to appear. I looked at the foil covered plate on the table and frowned. All that hard work for nothing..

“I made you dinner. Arthur said its your favoirte. Its on the counter behind you. Have a wonderful drunken night.” i bowed and retreated upstairs. I heard the foil peel off the dish, and the sound of utensil hitting the plate. A moment of silence passed before i heard his foot steps climbing up the stairs.

“Where did you get venison?” his lips puckered as he cleaned his teeth with his tounge.

“From the butcher…” i waited a few seconds until i released the whole truth. “After i killed it.”

“You were outside of the grounds today?” the suprise in his voice would be hard to miss. I thought he knew everything. I wondered what the reason was for his intoxication tonight, and why he was out late. He was so distracted with whatever was going on that he didnt even have any of his wolves out following me. Or maybe i betrayed his trust when he thought he could let his gaurd down.

“I went hunting on a wimb, i was out of the grounds for a few hours at most.” i tried to comfort him but the climbing anxiety inside of him could be seen from a mile away.

“Myah… Do you learn nothing? What if you had been taken. You would be gone and i would be helpless. Do you know what happens to a wolf when their mate dies?” his eyes held a hollow that i couldnt quite place and i wondered just what the details of his fathers death was. 

“Im not going to die, not anytime soon anyway.” the idea that he would outlive me by hundreds of years was an ache that couldnt be explained.

“You cant know that. I need to be able to protect you, i need to trust you to not put yourself in harms way.” he was seemingly sober, a vast difference from just minutes ago.

“What kept you out so late?” i asked, if he wanted to trust me, then i needed to feel like i could trust him too.

“Pack buisness.” his answer was vauge, as he looked away from my eyes. That was his tell. He couldnt lie while he looked in my eyes. He was a smooth liar, but he couldnt lie to me. It must be guilt from the mate bond that makes him faulter in keeping his motives concealed.

“A lie.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You lied to me just now.”

“What? No i didnt.”

“What kept you out so late?”

“I just told you i had pack buisness to take care of.” once again his eyes drifted away from mine.

“You cant look me in the eye and lie.”

“Fine, i was out getting drunk. Does that make you feel good, to know the truth? I couldn't bring my mate because shes a raging alcohalic.”