Only Human

20

“You wanted to know that you can trust me, but you cant tell me the truth without me jumping down your throat for lying in the first place.” I sat down on the bed with a small jump.

“What would you have me do?” He asked from the spot he was glued to in the doorway. My eyes nearly bulging from my head at his stupid question.

“I don't know, tell the truth. That's what you would expect from me isn't it?” he couldn't refute that. He would be irate if I lied about something like this.

“Okay. I was out drinking. I'm sorry I lied to you just now.” Even in his drunken state, he seemed to handle his emotions well.

“Great, thanks for clearing that up. Close the door on your way out.” I was done with this conversation. I wrapped the blankets up around me as I spoke with a hurt voice. I wasn't a raging alcoholic… at least I didn't think I was. I guess being arrested at a bar kinda gives me that look.

“Congratulations on your kill today. I'm proud of you.” he closed the door gently. I heard him retreat downstairs, listening to the sound of a fork on the plate. At least he ate it. Thanks to the drunchies. I don't know if it was the alcohol or if he's actually changed the way he thinks about me but telling me he's proud of me was a complete one-eighty of a month ago.

I couldn't sleep well knowing that we argued and didn't resolve it on my first night living in his house. It was probably some kind of bad omen. I wrapped my throw around my body and crept downstairs. I looked out the back window, staring out at the vast dark landscape that was illuminated by feathers of cold moonlight. It must be two or so in the morning, everything was dead quiet.

Lukes's house was situated just about half a mile away from a gorgeous waterfall. Huge moss-covered stones lay all around it. It was truly beautiful and I found myself feeling lost in the expanse.

I thought about what the crone said, about the fox and the raven. I couldn't figure out the riddle, but maybe it wasn't meant to be figured out. Maybe it was just a clever way of trying to keep me occupied.

*I couldn't bring my mate because she's a raging alcoholic.* Luke's words floated in my head. He was wrong. I've changed. I haven't had a drink in months, I've been completely sober other than when I was drugged with those mushrooms. It hurts that he still thinks of me like that, like some insignificant addict that he's burdened with.

If I was so much of a burden why did he even want me here, why didn't he just leave me at my own cabin? Why didn't he agree with how his wolf felt? Why couldn't he love me? I hated this. I hated being stuck here, in this position. I couldn't sleep here knowing he was just down the hall, yet wanted nothing to do with me.

His actions the other night were fueled by nothing but angst and lust, nothing else. I was a fool to think that he felt something else, something more..

I found myself sneaking out the back door and walking in the direction of my cabin. Obviously his senses duller when he's intoxicated, otherwise he would have been on my heels in a second, either that or he didn't care that I left.

I climbed up the black spiral staircase to my former bedroom, colliding into the soft comforter of my former bed. I hated feeling like a burden. I hated feeling unwanted.

I couldn't pretend anymore that I didn't love Luke. The pull I felt, the emotions he opened inside me.. Its like nothing I've ever felt before. He was handsome, incredibly smart, he had so much confidence in himself that it was erotic all on it's own.

I wanted Luke, I wanted him like a bottle of whiskey, I needed him like a bump of white powder. I needed him more than that, more than the temporary highs and a drawn out buzz. I needed him the most. My eyes finally began to droop, feeling heavy as the morning sun peaked over the far mountains.