His Muse

τριάντα οκτώ | sanitatem

"You don't drink coffee" she commented.

"No I don't, but I can rustle up some tea for myself"

"Hmm" she agreed and stepped closer as I cracked the door open.

She strolled into the kitchen, dusting a stool before she slipped onto it.

The hiss of the water as I filled up the kettle, clanged around the awkward silence in the room. My anxiety grew as I busied myself with preparing the mugs.

"Milk? Sugar?"

"No thanks" she replied warmly.

I slid her mug towards her, breathing the intoxicating smell of berries that wafted from my herbal tea and slowly calmed down my jittery state.

She took a long gulp, her eyes fixed on my face as she did before she pursed her lips and downed the scalding liquid. The energy in the room only made me more angsty as she dragged her eyes over the emptying house.

"Thank you" she complimented before deeply sighing.

"It's the least I can do after you know" I offered, sipping my tea.

The breeze shook the back door as the unwelcome silence floated in again.

"I'm sorry for how I treated you back at Theo's place a few months ago, I was too brash and I apologise" she said, "I now know that even if you were in the wrong, it was not my place to pile it on"

"I admire what you did. Your intentions were sincere, despite how much your words stung. But yeah, the guilt.." I sighed deeply, "the guilt was worse than the act.I thought I could run from it, in the end, it consumed me" I finished, sighing as the memories plagued my mind.

"Autumn was physically sick for weeks after what she had done to your family. I mean regular fevers, stomach pains, tingles in her spine that made her lose her standing, anxiety, et cetera, so I can only imagine"

"I was sorry. I am sorry. If I could go back in time..."

She reached forward and placed a warm hand on mine, shaking her head, "no don't play that game" she commented, her eyes seemed sadder than I'd remembered.

"Darcy, if he ever wants to know, please tell him I'm so-"

"He knows, he doesn't talk about it - actually he doesn't talk anymore - but he knows" Darcy added.

"He doesn't talk?"

"No, after that night with Mason, his wolf had suffered so much that the only way he could recover was if he put his wolf into hibernation. It was one of the hardest decisions he had to make, imagine knowing something and living with something all your life as an Alpha, and it just leaves... no it's taken away from you. I mean the hollowness must be debilitating. Plus, all the death he has suffered and all the rebuilding he has to do"

"Not a word? What about work? Meetings with other packs?"

"He quit, and hasn't spoke to any Alpha since. Alpha Bastien came by with a Nuques member but by the way he lamented to Mark in frustration, I don't think that conversation was fruitful"

"He's not an Alpha anymore?"

"No he still is, he's just a shell of person these days. One of his legs, and some of his ribs were injured that night so he walks with a cane, hunched over and...just a-"

"-A shell of a person" I finished, taking in a deep breath as I hugged my mug.

"He sits in silence in front of the river all day. Grace has tried to get him to stop but Theo has always been 'coolly stubborn' as she says" she looked back at me again, her eyes squinting in a slight smirk, "Mark, Zach, myself and Autumn have been trying to do what we can to keep the pack going but Theo handled so much that we're struggling too"