Elias | ✔️

Nineteen

***Warning talks abuse from Zayn's past relationship***

Zayn Hussan

"W-What does it say?" I asked.

"Are you sure you want to see it?" He said with a nervous tone.

"Not really? But by the look on your face, it seems pretty serious. Pass it here."

It was hard to miss the hesitation on Elias' face as he handed me the card. I opened it and began reading, and from what was inside... I could feel my jaw physically drop open.

He knows where I live.

He wants me back.

This has to be a sick dream.

"Zayn? Zayn, are you alright?" Elias asked, placing his hand gently on my shoulder.

"I-I'll be right back!" I said in a hurry.

"Wait!" He shouted to me but I ignored it, running back in my apartment and straight to the bathroom. Once I got in, I slammed the door shut, sliding my back down the cool wooden door.

He was never supposed to know.

No one was supposed to know about the bdsm aspect of our relationship. I have nothing against it, but when you're forced into it, to be someone's slave against your will with your safe words getting ignored everytime you need to use it, then yeah. It kinda makes you not want to be a part of that lifestyle.

I don't think I ever wanted to be part of it in the first place.

Now he wants me back? He wants to force me yet again into a lifestyle I hated? A lifestyle that scarred me so bad that i'm almost terrified to try anything new in bed.

Elias is the first person who I've felt like I could be more comfortable I guess in those aspects. He makes me feel safe, and now that's all going to be taken away from me.

There's no escaping this man. There's only one thing for me to do.

I stand up from the floor, stopping in front of the mirror. My eyes bloodshot, my body shaking in fear from this man's threats. For a second my mind flashes back three years ago standing in this very position. All I see is the scared, terrified man I once was.

I harshly wipe the tears from my face and storm out of the bathroom to see Elias sitting worriedly on the couch. My body freezes at the sight of him. God, I love him so much. But as the saying goes, if you love someone, set them free. Right?

No matter how much he means to me, I can't bare put him through this. He doesn't deserve someone broken and shattered like me. It's better to do this before we both end up hurt and heartbroken.

I run my hands through my hair as I approach Elias, taking his gorgeous face in my hands and kissing him like my life depended on it. I'll need something to remember him by. I doubt I'd forget him even if I tried, but I needed this.

"What was that for? Why were you crying baby?" He asked. His hand caressing my cheek for a moment before I stand up again.

"I... Um, I'm sorry Elias, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"Why? Aren't we going to figure this out? This is hardly something we should ignore." Eli said with a frustrated look.

"I'm not ignoring it. I know what has to be done, Eli and I'm sorry, I can't... do this anymore."

I can't even bring myself to look at him. I just can't. I'm barely keeping it together as it is.

"You... You're leaving me? You don't want to be with me? But I thought-"

"But nothing, Eli. I don't want to be with you!" I shouted, sounding angrier then I meant to. God, this is so fucking hard!

"I know you're going through some shit, Zayn... But we waited months to find eachother. Months! You're just going to throw it away like that? Was this all a game to you or something? All I want to do is stand by your side and protect you. To be with you...to lo-"

"Don't finish that sentence, Eli!" I said. "I meant what I said. I don't want to be with you, now get out!" I shouted, holding back my tears.

"Please, don't do this Zayn. Please." He pleaded.

The second I looked up, my heart shattered into a thousand tiny pieces. The look on his face... The heartbreak visible on his features... I've officially ruined my relationship with the person who meant the most to me. Self sabotage at its finest.

"Get out, Elias! I...I can't stand you! What we had together means nothing to me. You were nothing more then a conquest I could check off my list."

"Yeah? How about you fucking look me in the eyes and say that to me."

A deep breathe and my tear filled eyes meet his. He will always be my love. The one that truly got away. I breathe out slowly and speak again.

"You mean nothing to me."

"...You know, for a second I really thought you weren't going to do it. Clearly I was wrong about some things. I hope you know we could have worked it out, but it's clear as day to me now that these feelings were all one sided. Have a nice life Zayn. I'm sorry I wasn't enough." He grabs his coat, pulls out his car keys and slams the door to my apartment.

The second that door closes, I drop to the ground on my knees, holding my face in my hands as I burst into tears.

All that matters is Elias finds someone who can give him the life he deserves. He may be hurting now, but over time his wounds will heal and he'll be happy with the perfect family and lucky as hell husband.

Me? Well I am absolutely screwed.

------

A few hours later, once I finally got my tears to subside for a while, I threw on the leather outfit and collar that was sent to me.

It took power to put that on. Strength I still don't think I have. Fake it til you make it I guess?

I took a cab to Pristine, getting the driver to drop me off down the block.

I don't know if I can do this. I don't...

"Zayn? What the hell are you doing here?!"