Two hearts that beat as one

Luna's backstory

It was when I turned eight that my parents kept on fighting over stupid things; sometimes, they would even yell at me. When I turned 9, I ran away from home. I couldn't handle the stress.

I signed myself up for school, which was one of my mistakes. I ended up getting bullied; the only reason I kept getting bullied was that I wasn't popular. Neither did I want to be famous.

When I got older, my mom became distant from me, and my dad became closer. My dad and I became closer. We only sent letters to each other. We don't talk often, but once in a while. They both know my problems, social anxiety, and eating disorder. With social anxiety, it's hard for me to make friends. It's also hard for me to even eat without feeling guilty or trying not to throw up. Just the thought of eating it makes me feel weird. I never tell anyone these things unless they're my close friend. I barely even have any of those.

I had to work once I grew older, so I could pay my rent. My mom didn't want me to stay in her house. I don't want to because I will be hearing yelling and fighting over stupid things. That's why I started to work, to pay the bills for my house.

Dakota was my main bully; she would bully me constantly. She teased me when I first came to school. There were times when I was about to snap and lose it, but I didn't. Until Charlotte came with me to school, that's where I did. I couldn't deal with the bullying.

Dakota had a better home life than me, but I hated comparing things. I say those things sometimes, which I hate it.

Sometimes I like going to school; the only thing I hate about it is how I think everyone is staring at me and judging me. Just assuming the way I dress, the way I walk, and what my hair looks. I'm not too fond of it. I know they do, especially my reputation.

The more I think about it; it's weird for me that when I first met Charlotte, I wouldn't have talked to them. We first met at midnight, of course; I would've talked to them then. If it were in the afternoon, then I wouldn't have. I would've waved at them and said nothing else; I would nod in response. I liked talking to them; they made me feel comfortable.

When Michael left me, I was upset. I wasn't expecting him to say those things. He knew the problems I had, and he was there for me. Now when I look back at it, he was just there because he needed me for money. He didn't believe me; he just acted as he did. I hate him. I then realized that he talked shit about me behind my back. He still goes to my school.

Without Charlotte, I would've still had Michael, I would still have Dakota as my bully, and I would be alone. I'm glad that I met them because, without them, I wouldn't be here. They're the best person I could ever have at the moment.

I think about it; I'm just an observer. I won't do anything or do something. I'm just there, not being able to do anything. I want to, but not like anyone is going to listen. I would do something, but they didn't like me. Even if I did something, they would judge me. I guess I fear that.

The school was never the best for me. I still have memories of it, especially on my first days. From kindergarten to 6th grade, I would start having panic attacks. I wouldn't say I liked that there were new faces I didn't recognize; I would panic.
Till 7th grade, I stopped having them. I almost did, though.

I would always try to impress my parents, but they wouldn't care about me. They would favorite my younger sibling. I tried to get their attention, but they would focus on the younger ones more. So I just stopped trying. That's why I don't tell them anything anymore. I just gave up. They don't want to know anything about expect when I'm gone or missing.

My eating disorder causes me to stop eating. Sometimes it would even make me feel guilty not to eat. It would even make me feel like throwing up. It would just start making me think about how much I am eating and how less I am eating. Sometimes I would eat a lot, and sometimes I would eat less. That's why my dad cares about it.

Whenever I get comfortable with a new friend, I start rambling about the things I love. I sometimes talk fast because it's a habit of mine. The thing about having to sputter is repeating myself. Either they didn't hear me or didn't understand, which makes me dislike repeating my words and talking to people. They wouldn't understand the things I like because I'm the 'weird quiet kid.' I have different likings from everybody or most everybody. Expect Charlotte. They didn't mind what I wanted. They didn't judge me for anything that I did. I guess I like them for that.

I am a lesbian; I haven't told my parents or anyone about it. I was planning on telling my mom about it today. I shouldn't do that whether I know she will be accepted; I know she will know either way.

It's weird, but I think about that confession that Charlotte said to me. It got me thinking should I say yes or no? I'm still confused about these feelings. I hope I get to know if I do like them or not.