Maybe I'll heal

Yelling

TW: DEPRESSION, YELLING, SELF HARM, PANIC ATTACKS
Tommy groaned, listening to his alarm sound out. The boy had been going to school for 3 months. He smacked the off button and dragged himself out of bed. Dude.. Why am I even still doing this?  He threw on a Thrasher t-shirt and black basketball shorts he had gotten from Techno. The blonde went to the bathroom and lifted up his shorts, taking the bandages off of his cuts from the day before. He grabbed a razor from the cabinet and slit his thighs 5 times before stuffing it into his pocket and bandaging his legs.

After cleaning up, he grabbed his phone and headphones before slinging his back over his shoulder and waiting for Tubbo outside. Tubbo emerged from his house and joined Tommy on his walk. "How are you, Big man?" "Pretty shit, tbh. You?" Tubbo laughed, feigning happiness. "Same! Are we on for tonight?" Tommy nodded and the two conversed on their walk until they arrived at school. Tommy greeted Skeppy and walked in, with Tubbo trailing behind to ask him about how he and Bad were doing. The blonde walked through the halls to his homeroom and then his first class, math, and sat down. Mr. Bad handed all of the students a test that Tommy actually had an easy time doing, after all, it was just multiplying integers.

He finished the test pretty early, so afterwards he just listened to music and drew. His peace was quickly interrupted by Mr. Bad storming out of the classroom. He took out his headphones and crept up to the door as did his other classmates to see what was happening. "Mans is going sicko mode" He heard one of his classmates whisper. Mr. Bad stopped in front of a student, Tommy thinks his name was Keem Star? Nonetheless, the student was mouthing off to a now-terrified friend. "This fucking sped Slimecicle cried about it too! The one dude at the office who probably had his ancestors escape a lynching in the South, what was his name, Skeppy? He yelled at me. It was hilarious!" Mr. Bad glared. "Really?" "What? I didn't do anything!" Bad laughed. "YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING? NOTHING? BECAUSE I COULD'VE SWORN I HEARD YOU CALL SKEPPY AND SLIMECICLE SLURS." Tommy flinched violently.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? IF I HEAR OF THIS BEHAVIOR YOU WON'T BE SEEN IN THIS SCHOOL AGAIN, LET ALONE CALLING ANYBODY ANYTHING. IF I DO NOT SEE YOU APOLOGIZE TO BOTH OF THEM, I WILL MAKE SURE THE PRINCIPAL HEARS OF THIS. IF YOU EVER ACT VILE ENOUGH TO EVEN WARRANT THIS I'LL MAKE SURE THAT YOU WON'T RETURN BACK TO THIS SCHOOL. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?" Mr. Bad growled. The hall was silent. Skeppy grabbed his arm and tried to calm him down. "Y-Your clear." Keem trembled slightly. Bad's eyes softened. He let out a sigh and smiled. "Alright. Get to class."

He ruffled Keem's hair and waved him off before turning back to his classroom and going in, with Skeppy going back to the office. Everybody scrambled back to their seats and whispered. "Sorry muffins,  just got a little bit upset there. You guys can get back to your tests." Tommy hesitantly raised his hand and asked to use the bathroom. Mr. Bad signed his bathroom pass and sent him on his way.

Tommy hugged his knees to his chest and shook violently in the stall. He tried convincing himself his father wasn't there, but he still found himself tugging on his hair. Tears dripped from his eyes like a waterfall and he picked the skin on his arm nervously. He scratched and itched his skin nervously. He felt like he was going to die. He tried to calm down but his breath just kept getting quicker before he just felt like he was drowning, falling into a dark abyss of depression, and just spiraling down into gray. Is anything even real? What if I'm dreaming? What if my father is still alive? Is bad going to yell at me? My father is alive, he's alive, he's alive, he's alive- Tommy frantically searched his pocket for his razor blade. I need to make the thoughts stop.

He finally felt the razor blade in between his fingers and pulled it out before tearing his shorts up, revealing his scar-littered thighs. He pressed his blade up to his white thigh and pushed, feeling the familiar burn as his first skin layer was cut through. He dragged the blade across and pulled it out before admiring his work. As the blood dripped out of the cut it felt like he was totally fine. He smiled bittersweetly before the anxiety rushed in. He quickly licked the blood off before throwing the leg of his shorts down and praying the cut would calm down before rushing back to class with the bathroom pass.

Mr. Bad smiled at him as he sat down, and after 5 minutes the class ended. He grabbed his stuff and met up with Tubbo in class and Ranboo outside of the classroom. The 3 walked to lunch and sat at their usual table after putting their stuff in their lockers, but nobody else was there. They thought nothing of it, thinking they were all at their lockers. That was, until they saw Niki sitting with Wilbur and his friends. And then they saw Eret leave the lunchroom with his food. All 3 of them felt a buzz from their pocket. Tommy discreetly checked his phone, and surprise surprise, it was from the groupchat.

Bad Bitch Groupchat

King
Hey guys, srry im moving seats
My friend asked me to eat lunch with xem in an empty classroom, i guess it was never meant to be

whamen
Same ^^^ sorry

Tommy stared at the text for a moment, thinking, before leaving the groupchat. He clenched his teeth. Why are they ruining what we had? Why now? They fucking- Fuck this, fuck them. I fucking hate them. Why would they leave us? He deleted Niki and Eret's numbers before hastily turning off his phone and turning back to Tubbo and Ranboo. "Have... have you guys ever thought of uhm. Cutting to deal with well, everything?" The two instantly looked at him wide-eyed. "What?" Tubbo asked. "Uhm. Have you guys ever.. self-harmed?" Ranboo's hands shook. "Tommy..." Before they could ask any more, the bell rung. Tommy shot up and left the lunch room.

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Hey guys! Thats this chapter, hope you enjoyed! <33
Signed, Tex [He/Him]

Date started: Friday, May 20
Date finished: Tuesday, May 24
Words: 1102
Views: 24