I Don't WANT You • MxM

B O N U S • T W O

"Don't think so much and sleep", he whispers, stroking my back

"How did you know?"

"Your heart. It's beating uncontrollably"

"How would you know that's uncontrollable?"

"I know your heartbeat", he says as if it's a normal thing to say

Fucking hell my heart is beating like crazy.

"Now your heart is beating fast", he chuckles sweetly

I roll my eyes. "Yeah yeah now sleep"

I try not to think so much but it's hard. After an hour of trying to sleep I finally dream of Juan.

"Carlos, wake up", I hear his voice

I moan tiredly taking a few seconds before I open my eyes.

"What's wrong, Mi Amor?"

"You're- You're crying. Did you had a nightmare?"

"What? Crying?", I wipe over my eyes, feeling the wetness.

"What did you dreamed?"

I need a moment to remember what I was dreaming of.

"It was actually a good dream", I smile

"Then why were you crying?", he asks softly, running his thumb over my eyes

"Because it was too beautiful to be true"

"Tell me about it", he begs, kissing the last tears away

"It was you and me. We lived in a house, far away from Chicago. You could only see trees and green. It was a beautiful landscape. And suddenly two little kids were running across the meadow towards us", I have to smile, "They called you Dada and me Daddy"

Fuck, why do I have to cry again? Maybe it is the fact that we had children? Or is it just the fact that we were so incredible happy? It was just us. No danger. No Chicago. No pain.

"That's really beautiful", he sobs

I look at him and see his beautiful smile. It makes me so happy.

"You are beautiful and I'll do anything so that we'll be happy"

"I am happy, Carlos. As long as I'm with you I'm really happy. It's enough for me"

"I know Mi Amor, you're also enough for me. It's just that something is missing"

"What is it?", he asks and I know he's scared that it has something to do with him

"Peace"

Now he looks sad but it's the truth. I would never give up El Triunfador but Juan had to endured so much because of me. I want to make it safe for him.

"You're my peace", he suddenly murmurs, snuggling into my chest

"God", I breathe, not believing he says such things out loud

We lay in bed for minutes until Juan gets up. He has to work today and I'm going to El Triunfador. We get ready together and eat something.

"See you later", he gives me a quick kiss, before leaving out of the car

I drive to the El Triunfador house.

"Carlos", Alejandro greets

"Everything okay?", I ask

"Yes. We're washing the money and some people are already out selling drugs"

"Good. Are the new comers ready?"