Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐘 "𝐈'𝐌 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓 𝐀𝐓 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐄𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐒"
Read part 1 before this first! This is a double update !!!!
FOUR HOURS. Four hours till I'd have to get out of my bed and go to his funeral. It didn't stop. Funeral after funeral. Death after death. I felt trapped.
What was the point of living when everyone else was dying on me? I've been waking up lately at random times and eating my depression out with whatever would be in the fridge. Some nights, I felt so sick to my stomach from sobbing and would lay next to the toilet till someone found me and put me back to bed.
It was now five A.M. and I have barely gotten any sleep. I slept for a little bit, but then I woke up from a nightmare.
"I'm worried about her! She's not sleeping right," I can hear voices outside of my door.
"I know, but she's struggling, Mia. Give her time," Wheezie mumbles.
"Let me at least check on her-"
"Go. To. Bed."
"Fine! God, if she's dead," she grumbles.
"She's not dead, calm your ass down."
The bickering drowns and leaves from my door, making it silent again. Was I seriously worrying everyone because of my own problems?
It's just Mia, though. I'm sure she's being herself, worrying about me everyday.
I stare at this dumb popcorn ceiling with my hands resting against my stomach, feeling as the air goes in and out of my body. I twiddle with my fingers, thinking about what will happen today. I know I won't be able to handle it. It'll be too much for me. I'll start blubbering the minute I enter that place.
I decided to have him placed in Charleston. He loved it there, and I knew he'd rather be placed in that town than here. I picked a plot that's right by a beautifully blossomed tree. He would've liked where I placed it. He didn't have a will or anything, but everyone has decided that I should be the one to keep his stuff.
I don't want to keep any of it.
It's not like I hated him, of course, I loved him, And I don't want to be reminded of his absence here.
The best option is to have my friends take his items before I see them, even though they've already told me we're doing it together as a group. JJ, Sarah, John B, and Pope. We haven't talked since my disappearance.
I hope they don't hate me. I'm sure everyone else in the town does, but I can't lose them too. I've already lost almost everyone I could.
By the time I'm done sorrowing in my bedroom with pools of tears draining against my face, it's time to get up and get ready. I picked out my nicest dress for him. He'd probably have commented on how I looked amazing in it.
