The Victim

24| forget forever

S E R I N E

"Angelo, I can explain,"

"Is this what he meant? Tell me is this what he meant by, I wouldn't call you my girlfriend after what you did? Is it?" My body shivers and I'm helpless.

Not even Levine could help me right now. I had to handle this by myself. I had to get through something without someone else's help. I had to own up to my mistakes. The secret I've kept.

It was time.

I couldn't deny it.

"Silence says everything,"

I can't even bear to look him in the eye. I just can't.

I can't face him.

"WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?" The loudness of his voice almost makes me shout.  I finally look at him. He looks torn -- so broken. It makes me sick how I was the cause of all that. With my hand on my chest, tears blurring my vision, I struggle to find my voice.

Just to say that I was sorry.

Just to say that, even though I knew damn well it wouldn't help. "I love you Serine, I loved you." His words pierce into my soul almost.

It hurts so much.

I didn't know if making it break, hurt, or breaking them hurt even more. "I wish I never fell in love with you," his words are like daggers to my heart.

Love.

He was in love with me? Me?

No, he confused it. He just loved me.

And me? I never was. I only... tried?

Tried, right.

"But you know what, you weren't the only one that did wrong." I look at him, what was he talking about?

"Kelly and I- we kissed," My heart stops and I freeze on that spot. Did I just hear right?

"Wait-" I emphasize. "what did you just say?" I look at him again, not believing it. "Wow." I take a second and gulp. "You're good at being a hypocrite," I shake my head looking elsewhere. "How did it get to this Angelo? How?"

"You tell me," But I stay silent. We were doing okay. I'd be lying to myself if I said we weren't good in the beginning. What would've happened if they hadn't reappeared in our lives? Would something else have broken us up?

Maybe yes, maybe. I believed everything happened for a reason.

"We were getting stale, it just was,"

"It's just stale?" I can feel his eyes on me. "Answer me this, Serine did you ever love me?"

"Believe it or not, I cared." He let's out a cold chuckle. "Cared," He repeats.

"Angelo, not everything works out," I cry. "I'm sorry that I wasn't your forever but I honestly tried. I mean that bottom of my heart. There's someone else who loves you way more than I do. In a different way. A person you would least expect it from,"

"But this, this Angelo, this isn't love." Every word that came out was torturous but I had to do it. I had to let go and not give him false hope on working things out.

"I should've left. I should've let the moment I laid my eyes on you." I finally was able to look him the eye. "Do you hate me?"

"I hate you, never," I sighed a breathe of relief but my heart was so heavy. He gets up and I mirror his actions as we hug each other. It was the last time that I'd look into his brown eyes, with such admiration. The last time I hugged him so intimately, it was the last time we did anything romantically.

Now it'd be purely platonic.

Thought it'd take a while, we'd be friends.

They say, you can never be friends with someone you were with.

It's either we  weren't in love or we never loved each other.

And we we never in love.

***

Maybe it was too soon or whatever, but I didn't bother to give a fuck. I was tired of thinking for everybody else but me.

What about me?

I needed my happiness too, right? It was about damn time.

"You look gorgeous babe,"  Nina says and I smile. I look at myself in the mirror, the black cami dress fits me perfectly, complementing my chocolate skin. My make up was all natural, done by none other than my best friend, Levine who was in a beige colored, body con dress, with her golden stilettos.

Nina was in a strap tube dress, with her hair in a secured braid.

Tonight was about forgetting forever.

Tonight was about dancing like nobody was watching.

Tonight was about, freedom.

At my first party.

***

All I hear is loud music from outside just as Nina is done parking the car.

We shut the doors once we're out, intertwining our hands together as we share one last glance with each other and head on inside. On our way, we already hear a whistle and I roll my eyes in pure disgust.

Once we open the door, all my eyes could see were body's dancing among one another, people singing and some shouting. There were neon lights everywhere and I was ready to let loose.

Once I dropped my clutch somewhere safe, the girls and I, all get on the dance floor and move our hips to the song, like nobody else was watching.

I've never felt more alive, more free and more happier. Dancing like this brought out the happier side of me. It reminded me of life, of happiness.

As I raise my arms up in the air, my eyes for some reason landed on the stairs. A shadow disappears before I see what or who it was.

But I don't give a damn, because tonight, I forget.