My Savior

-38-

He takes a deep breath. "I told him to stay away from us... that I didn't want to do this anymore." He holds me tightly. I hear him wince, most definitely from his wounds, but he ignores it. "I wasn't myself... I actually had the thought to shoot him... that he deserved at least one bullet. I shot at him too... with a warning shot... and in that moment I could've shot him and wouldn't have missed... Sage..." I look at him only to see tear filled eyes. "I could've killed him. I'm violent and aggressive... I now know... I can kill a man if I didn't hold back..." and with those words, he breaks down. He buries his head in my neck and cries. I try to soothe and comfort him by rubbing his back but it doesn't seem to help.

"Ry... Ry, look at me." I place both hands on his shoulders. He gazes up at me and wipes his tears. "I'm still here. Ok? I'm not scared of you. I'm not scared of you hurting me or the baby, because I know you won't. I know you wouldn't kill anyone, Ry. Just because you may have the capability to do it doesn't mean you will. We're going to get through this together. All the bullshit with Rick, we'll do that together too. It's you and I against the world. I'm going to have my baby, and we'll raise it together, and one day, I can have your baby." He stops crying and looks deep into my eyes.

A switch was flipped.

He kisses me deeply. I can feel his hunger, but who was I kidding? I want the same thing. I was ready.

"I'm ready," I say out of the blue.

I definitely caught him off guard. "Does that mean..?"

I nod. "I want to," I say boldly.

"Then let's go to your room," he says with a smirk.

We go up to my room and I almost forget Lydia is in there. "Lydia, we're going to change," I say as an excuse to try and avoid suspicion.

"Ok. I'll be downstairs." She leaves the room, no questions asked. We lock the door and look at each other with mischievous grins. This would be my first real time. I'm excited but nervous.

Ryder tackles me to the bed and winces but shrugs it off. He trails kisses down my neck. "Are you sure about this?" he asks in a soft tone.

"Yes," I say with certainty. "Are you? I mean... you're wounded."

He rolls his eyes. "I don't care." He continues to kiss me.

"If you're ok with it... then yes." I can feel his lips curl into a smile against my neck.

My experience is certainly better than the first, but any experience would be better than that. To say Ryder is good is an understatement. I must've gotten lucky with the man I chose. I've never felt so loved before...

"Did I hurt you at all?" he asks with concern as he puts on his pajamas.

I blush a shade of crimson. "N-no... it was... really great actually..." I feel awkward for some reason, but this was our first time together so I'm sure I have the right to feel that way.

"O-oh... that's good..." he says awkwardly.

Why are we being so timid?

"Are you in any pain?" I ask a little too shyly.

"No... I feel great..." I notice him blushing too. Intriguing.

We finish getting changed and head downstairs to Lydia, who eyes us suspiciously. Probably because it doesn't take more than five minutes to change, and it was definitely longer than that.

"It's really late. We should go to bed," Lydia says, thankfully not bringing attention to how long we were gone.

Ryder looks at me smugly as we head back up to my room. I gently elbow him because I don't want Lydia to know and start teasing me.