It's the pain that keeps me alive

20

It was new year's eve everyone was very hyped about the party happening later. it's all been pretty hush hush, so my guess is that Dad has gone all out on the organising. Of course I was again limited in the outfit department as I had to cover up my cuts, meaning most of my body. But eventually I managed to find a emerald silk maxi dress. It covered my legs perfectly but my arms not so much as it was a spaghetti strap dress, but after some shopping I managed to find some matching gloves that went the full length of my arm.

I spent a lot of the time with Yelena at the party, we had become very close in fact she even knew about me and Bucky. I must admit it wasn't by choice, she walked in on us making out, she's not a very good knocker. But I like having someone to talk about it with. I know I can trust her. it's also very helpful having somebody on the outside to deter others from figuring us out.

I hung out with Bucky for a bit but it kinda hard to act like we are nothing more than friends when your both pretty drunk and it's the time of the night when people start to slow dance. And of course if people came up to me trying to hit on me it was harder to turn down because I couldn't just say no I'm seeing someone.

I went up to the bar to get Yelena and I a drink. While I was waiting this guy came up to me.

"hey there" he said.

"um hi"

"did it hurt?"

"when I fell from heaven? Nice try" I laughed at his attempt.

"sorry i'm not great at this am I. can we start over, the names John, John Walker."

"nice to meet you john, Im y/n, y/n stark"

"can I buy you a drink?"

"you know what my friend is waiting for my maybe later though, see you" I really did not mean later but I was just being polite, I hope he got the message. He seemed pretty sweet.

It was only around 11:00pm and it had already felt like forever. Since it was a new year's eve party it was probably going to last until 3:00 maybe even 4:00am. But I had it in my head that i'd probably leave soon after the countdown and sleep with Bucky in his room, everybody would be too drunk to notice us leaving together.

There was one thing that I really wanted to do at this party and that was to kiss my boyfriend when the ball drops. Of course we couldn't exactly do that in front of everyone so we made a plan to meet in the hallway, and make our way up to the helipad to watch the fireworks. I danced with Yelena and Wanda some more waiting eagerly for that moment. I asked Yelena to cover me if anyone questions where I was.

I couldn't help the feeling though that some one was looking at me, but I brushed it over my shoulder.

It was nearing the time to meet Bucky, I left a few minutes earlier then we had planned and waited for him in the hallway. The double doors swung open loudly. I turned to them quickly out of excitement. But as much to my disappointment it wasn't Bucky.