I Fell In Love With The Devil

Chapter 33

I ran and ran and ran. The pitch-black passage continued on forever with Theodore's chilling giggle nipping at my heels. I shrieked when the floor suddenly fell out from beneath me. I was free-falling in more black. 'No wings now angel,' he sang. I screamed and flailed through the air, trying to find the edge of the hole. A white feather splattered in crimson blood floated down beside, the only colour in the pitch black. It wafted down a few feet before me and suddenly a knife punctured through it. I–

– screamed and lurched forward. My hands shook as I ran them through my hair. Sweat soaked my body and the blanket –now stained with patches of dried blood– I'd somehow flung it off my body in my sleep. I slithered off the mattress onto the floor and felt around for the bottle of water. It shook violently in my hands as I tried to unscrew the cap and only about half the water made it into my mouth. I crawled over to the toilet and vomited up the contents of my stomach. I put the lid down and flushed it then I pulled myself up so that I was sitting on the ceramic lid. I hugged my knees to my chest and focussed on breathing. In and out. In and out. In and out. Half the times I awoke, there was a plate of bland food and sometimes there'd also be a random item. A very flat pillow, a black permanent marker, a feather, a tube of lipstick, a white t-shirt, were now all piled under my bed. I'd taken to decorating the white walls in red and black flowers and putting kisses around the mirror as well as a few self-love and motivational quotes. I drew on them for strength. But the glass panel, I saved that for my anger and hate. Where my blood had splattered, I'd scribbled fuck you theodore, I am not an angel, son of a bitch, motherfucking psycho, maniac, you need to be out in a mental asylum, get help, your insane, etc. until the red almost couldn't be seen. He laughed every time he saw it and I put the finger up, but he always just walked past. I always believed that he'd take me out for my next task when he appeared but so far that hadn't happened. My brain had lost track of all time, I slept when I slept and remained awake for short periods between sleep. I couldn't tell if my food was coming on a schedule or not or if the items came at planned times. A day or two may have passed since the boxing and I wouldn't have known.

I bit my lip and breathed deeply once more. It was time for my checkup in the mirror. I steeled myself as I stood up, preparing to face my bruised body. My face was horrific, but that was expected. My nose was slightly crooked and still extremely painful, my lip and cheek had swelled and turned a purplish-yellow. Dark bruises scattered my torso, some were huge and constantly throbbed, others were smaller but just as dark and hurt the same when I touched them. I was in pain every time I woke up, especially after the nightmares since I flailed around until they were over. I wasn't winning any beauty contests anytime soon, that was for sure. I huffed and glared at my ugly complexion, there was still hope that maybe it'd settle down a little before I died. If I had to leave the world from torture, could I at least leave looking like myself. I smiled and leaned forward to kiss the mirror. Who was I kidding? This was gonna be the new me and I was going to love every inch of it, even if I died covered in bruises from a boxing match that could've gone better. A lot better. I splashed my face with some freezing water and made my way back to my bed on wobbly legs. My mind often wandered to all the people that I certainly had no way of saying goodbye to. First of all, Holly: my number one ride or die, my best friend forever, my sister from a different mister, my literal world revolved around her. A tear slid down my cheek as I envisioned the last beach party we'd gone to before I left. Holly had been extremely drunk within a few hours and Jason had called me beautiful like the stars. I'd had a lot of free time to think about everything and I'd decided that if I miraculously got out, I'd confront Jason and ask why he cheated but I'd also thank him because if he hadn't I wouldn't have developed my relationship with Levi and his friends the same way. I'd go back home to Melbourne and spend a day or week or month with all my friends and truly live in every moment, valuing their presence and every single smile that passed between us all. I'd couch surf at Holly's and explain what really happened to my parents with only them because they needed to know, someone who wasn't a spy had to know the inner details of my life and who better than my best friend and her parents which I considered more family than some of my aunts, uncles and cousins. The least I could do for my parents' best friends was tell them the truth, they deserved that. After that period in Melbourne, I had no idea what I'd do. Would I stay there or... live in Sydney with Levi, and Scarlett, Matthew, Jake and David. I knew the answer but I didn't want to face it. I still had to figure out if Levi and Theodore had worked together before I could make any decisions. Theodore obviously didn't like Levi and was prepared to give Levi the note I wrote plus the feathers soaked in my blood. Partners don't do that shit to each other. Levi cared for his brother even though he didn't want to admit it to anyone, not even himself. He didn't want to kill his brother but would send him to a prison so that Theodore could live and pay for his actions. Maybe deep down this was Levi's way of giving his brother a chance to prove himself as a person, not a monster before Levi was forced to kill him. If my sibling was a monster, I'd do the same thing. I sighed. Life was a puzzle. If the puzzle piece doesn't fit you either throw it away or find where it fits. The puzzle piece of Theo wasn't fitting into Levi's puzzle so he was going to find another place for it, one where the puzzle piece did fit. Maybe they had worked together and maybe I'd missed something crucial, maybe I'd run off again for the wrong reason, all I wanted now was the truth. I could only live in Sydney but if Levi had not helped Theodore. I wanted to live in Sydney though. I wanted to live in Levi's house. I wanted to be able to visit Matthew, Scarlett, Jake and David's shared house. I wanted to fly Holly up to meet Scarlett so we could spend time just being girls. I wanted to be able to beat Jake and David at Call of Duty and play matcher maker until they got girlfriends. I wanted to tease Matthew and Levi's bromance. I wanted to surf and make more friends in Sydney. I wanted to continue training until I felt like a real badass. I wanted to get a job and earn money so that I wasn't using Levi's credit card. I wanted a lot, but it's good to want a happy life. Now I worried that I wouldn't get that life I dreamed of, that it would be cut short if Theodore's grip on the knife faltered.