A Court of Shadows and Lies / ACOTAR FF

Chapter 21

What the actual fuck just happened?

I hadn't moved from where Azriel had left me because I was dumbfounded. What had gotten over me in that moment? No amount of standing or thinking up reasons was going to give me the answer that I wanted. I disliked that it felt right in the moment, I really hated how fast my heart was running and, Mother, when I got to the bottom of that Gods forsaken tug, it would be all over.

My stomach turned. I felt sick, disgusted, that it had escalated the way it did despite the naturalness. I didn't want this with Azriel.

Groaning out loud, I fell back, plopping onto the log I had been sitting on with Azriel. Never had I felt that sudden urge with a male before. Entertaining the idea? Everyone did it. Nearly acting on the urge with a male who I had been feeling hot and cold with over the last few weeks? Something I had never done before.

I was confused, angry, and bewildered. My mind was racing over how soft his hair was, how close we were and how he had told me to stay put.

My eyes scanned the skyline for Azriel's shadows bouncing to no avail. The continuous rolling waves of power had ceased, and so had the Chaostrite's heat. It was silent, calm and relatively serene. Looking at the mansion in front of me, with the swan banked right in the middle of my view, I couldn't have imagined Koschei living here.

Koschei.

It had just occurred to me that Azriel flew in with no issues and that he knew exactly where to go with no help from me. To be honest, I had no idea if I could even find this place without my magic but something felt off. There were no guards, nothing to ward off intruders, and Koschei's magic wasn't concealed.

Unless you were a child of the Gods, or a God yourself, it was near impossible to reach his lake on your own without assistance. He was an old God, older than Mother and the others. I didn't know the ins and outs of his story but Sif had mentioned that he had fallen into the world meaning that something much bigger than Mother had created him and his siblings.

His story. It was in that house. Potentially, so was the information I was looking for.

I stood up from the log and began walking towards the shore of the lake, the swan being my goal. "I am asking you to stay here," I repeated, dropping my voice low in an attempt to mock Azriel's voice, as I dragged my feet through the snow. The closer to the bank I got, the more the Shadowsinger's words sunk in. "Call me Az," I grunted, continuing my mockery of Azriel's tone.

Dropping my gaze down to my feet, I hadn't realised how deep the snow was here and how tired I was either. The snow was reaching mid-calf and my footsteps were now just solid lines through the snow. I briefly looked back, the cold wind attacking my bare face, pursing my lips. You could see where I had just come from.

Over 100,000 years of being Mother's Commander, creating the Valkyrie and winning wars has led to me being sloppy in my old age. At least Azriel would know where to find me.

Turning back around, I continued trudging my way through the snow, hoping that what I was looking for was in the castle. Gods, if it wasn't, Azriel would have me locked up in his cabin until the end of time.

Not that the idea was a terrible one.

I abruptly stopped and was pulled out of my thoughts when I heard a loud trumpet erupt in front of me. Lifting my gaze from the thinning snow, I found the massive swan staring at me with its beady eyes that looked oddly familiar. The swan lifted itself onto its orange webbed feet and rotated, plopping itself in front of me. Sat down, the swan was eye-level with me.

Her eyes were familiar, and her aura felt older than mine. Cautiously, I reached out and placed a hand on the swan's gorgeous white feathered head. She dipped her head, giving me access. "Who are you?" I asked her. She honked in reply.