A Court of Shadows and Lies / ACOTAR FF

Chapter 3

Most of us were going to see the Darkness that was pulled out of me, bar from Madja, who had others to tend to, and Amren who was comfortably lounging on the settee still. Feyre and Rhysand had filed out the room through the door to my left, with the healer, as soon as I had agreed. Cassian and Azriel followed shortly after them, both eying me before they left with their wings tucked in.

Cassian's eyes had locked onto mine, looking at me like he had seen them before. I tilted my head to the side, my brows raised, egging him on, when he opened his mouth, preparing to ask me a question that looked like it had been bubbling for a while. He must have thought against it – or decided right now wasn't the most appropriate time to ask - as he shook his head, snapped his lips shut and left through the door first. I felt no lingering feelings of a previous meeting (or lover for that fact), nor did I have that weird feeling that I felt with Rhysand. Perhaps it was a fleeting moment where I had soared through the skies when he was younger? Maybe he saw one of my sisters? Did he guess who and what I was?

I genuinely wanted to know what he wanted to say.

The dull tug I had felt previously in the bottom of my stomach pulsed dimly as I cast my gaze over to Azriel who had paused at the door, his hand resting on the outer door knob. Our eyes met and he gave no feelings, no reactions – nothing – about me away. His shadows rested comfortably around him, his medium length dark hair framing his face, softening his stare. He was probably one of the most good-looking males (finally noticing his and Cassian's ears weren't pointed like Rhysand or Feyre's) I had ever seen but Gods that stare was jarring. He hadn't faltered, barely blinked. Neither had I. It felt like an unspoken match between the two of us, to see who would look away first, and it definitely didn't feel like it would be the only one.

A dark, deep smile formed on my lips when he looked away first, the feeling of my first win in over 400 years coursing through my blood proudly. I watched him as he started to slip through the wooden door but paused as he looked at me briefly again. I dropped my grin immediately, taken aback at his double take. His straight lips curved into a small smirk, one intended only for me, like he was ready to play this newfound silent game as well. I blinked, my win dissipating quickly as his shadows swirled around him excitedly.

I had lost.

Azriel turned to look ahead once more, closing the door behind him.

I stared at the door for a moment, wondering what had kickstarted this game and what that Mother forsaken tug was. It could be worse, I suppose. It could've been with someone who wasn't as fun to look at, and it had been a while since I had played around with someone like that. To be honest, I didn't particularly have any interest in fucking Azriel, I could smell the sex emanating off of him and his entire crew, but it would make for an interesting next couple of weeks while I gathered my strength and understood the Darkness that was inside of me.

While I had the next few weeks in Velaris, I couldn't spend most of it tucked away in this cabin. I needed to come up with a plan to make the most of my stay here before heading back home and letting my family know about what I had just experienced. I had been away from them for too long without a single word.

I didn't feel any guilt on top of that mountain while I was cocooned away in my magic, severing myself from the outside world. At the moment, though, the self-reproach and hatred was rushing through me like it had the weeks after my Mother had saved me after being tortured, a similar fate to what my good friend...the Fae...Gods, what was her name?

My slumbering magic stirred briefly, pulsing through my scarred back before spreading itself through me in a hug. In another lifetime, it whispered through my veins. I closed my eyes, willing my magic to show me what I was missing, but all I saw was darkness and no answers to who the Fae was, and why their story haunted me to this day. A shiver ran down my spine as my magic weakly throbbed, trying to piece together what was missing, before it fell back into a deep sleep, the initial rousing had taken a lot of it. I could imagine so, if these runes dated back thousands of years, it probably did take a lot of its power to comfort me in the spur of the moment.