Wangxian - The Road Not Taken

25. Tears and Hugs

Previously:

We find that ritual helped but not enough so we relentlessly look for other ways, which helped in their own small ways. We are determined to persevere. I make songs for babies and finally meet with an old friend.

........

Sang-di.

Nie HuaiSang.

My first friend.

My support through the darkest time.

We meet again, and thankfully in much better setting than last time.

For a long time we just looked at each other, multitude of emotions running through us finally seeing each other without the oppression and expectations of the world. Unknowingly we had tears pouring from our eyes. It wasn't until he sniffled that we broke out of the trance.

Seeing the tear tracks on his face, I straightaway went to him and enveloped him in a hug. It took some adjusting with my babies coming in between but we made do. He gave a short laugh, "Seems like lil Yings want in on the reunion too"

I give a big toothy smile, which looked a bit out of place with the tears running down, "They sure do. We all love a good reunion with lots of tears and hugs"

Overcome with emotions he clung to me even tighter, apologizing continuously, "I am sorry. I am so sorry Wei-Xiong. I could not help you at all. Please forgive me Xian-ge"

I patted him consolingly on his head, "Ah Sang-di. No need for sorry"

He argued hiccuping ,"B-but I just stood there unable to do anything, watching them commit something so heinous. I have no words. How can they call themselves righteous! "

I can't see him break down like this when it is not even his fault. My this brother is really too compassionate. "Please don't cry xiao-di, you didn't mark me, never said anything hurtful, never harmed me. And on top of all that even if it was risky defying unanimous decisions, especially when you're not in a strong foothold, you did all you could. And I completely understand."

He countered, "But you don't have to understand. Such situations should not have even arisen where you have to face all this. I am truly sorry you had to face all this." He looked at his feet in shame.

I hold his face in between my palms and lift his head making him look into my eyes so that he knows I am serious, "Ah but it is not your fault at all. Now calm down and no more sorrys." I wipe away his tears, " Did you forget that you were the one who used to secretly come to Yiling to provide whatever aid you could? Do you know just because of that our lives in there we so much more comfortable, otherwise who knows how long we would have survived there? Do you grasp the gravity of the fact that just with you believing in me helped me during that depressing time, it helped me hang on when even the last thread of hope was fading away?"

He interjeted, "But ge-"

I firmly tell him, "No buts. I do not hold any grudge towards you. In fact in my heart there is only riverful of gratitude."

"I am overjoy to hear that. But you do not know what horrible things that I did. You might not feel this way after hearing all that" His voice had turned to whisper afraid that I would hate him.

As if that can ever happen. "Nothing can make me resent you dear didi"

"We'll see" He said in such a quiet voice that I wasn't sure if I heard it correctly.

A-jie suggested we go to the dining room so we can have some refreshments while having the chat. I introduced my family to A-Sang again officially especially with all the new additions. He was overjoyed to when I recognized him as a part of this family. He was shocked but then had a smile on his face hidden behind his fan but I still caught it. The others went to take leave allowing us to have this conversation in private but Sang-di asked them to stay. We settled down with refreshments so that A-Sang could tell his story.