Wangxian - The Road Not Taken

23. Yinning and Scrolling

Previously:

I decide to fight for my babies along with my family. We start researching and A-Yang has an idea to use yang energy. He argues his point and after hearing his points we decide that this is could a good started point and start looking more into it.

..........

It has been weeks since we started the routine of researching information about healing effects of yin energy and how far it can go. Also if there are any rituals that can be performed for better health and saving someone. The long weeks in which all my dear ones were doing best to help me while I was just lying on my ass, and reaping the benefits. I don't like this one bit. I try to whine and grumble to make Jie allow me to help them in any way I can. But she absolutely refused. She won't budge at all.

So cruel.

The only good that I do is talk talk and talk. Its either talk about the adventures of Wei Ying or Future planning when the babies would be here. Preparing for their upbringing. It does take my mind off the feeling of uselessness but not for long.

A-Yang had been on a journey to bring back the scrolls for our help, hoping they will have some useful information.

One of the mornings Jie was fed of my constant whining and finally snapped, "A-Ying!"

"What jie?" I pouted, giving her the puppy eyes.

She was frustrated with me, clearly my cute puppy eyes are not working, "Stop with this!. Its not helping anyone."

I argue, "But jie you are only not allowing me to help. What am I supposed to do?"

She answered instantly, "Take care of yourself and the babies."

"I am doing that. I drink up all the medicines , follow proper diet, even exercise regularly as recommended. By you." I list up all the instructions given to me that I follow diligently.

Jie explained further, "You also need rest, not just physical but mental also."

I ask, "But jie how can I rest when you are all working tirelessly for me, for my babies?"

She asked back, "Do you mean that they do not mean anything to the rest of us?"

Of couse I did not mean that, why is jie being so difficult,  "No No jie I dont mean anything like that. But I would like to help "

"A-Ying you are already helping with taking care of the babies." She said softly.

I say, "I want to help more"

She counteracts, "Its more than enough"

"Not nearly as enough" I feel I am not nearly enough as the others, what if they resent me?

"It is"

"Its not. I don't want to be a useless burden on you all" and that is the main problem, I really do not want to be a burden, a mooch. Leeching of them. It is my job to take care of them not the other way round.

She looked at me in resigned shock, "Oh A-Ying you are not a burden. You are my brother , you can never be a burden. Nothing we do is just out of our duty towards you. It is because we want to. We love you and the babies."

"But jie how can I just lounge around while you all are slaving away?" And me being this lazy as lying around like some kind of obnoxious king.

"Oh my dear didi, you need to learn to sometimes relinquishing control. Every time you do not have to be the one solving problems. Allow us to do something for you too. " She tries to explain to me, but how can I do that?