Wangxian - The Road Not Taken

Approaching Darkness

WARNING: Mentions of torture and dark thoughts

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Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

In the few moments of peace that I get nowadays, this is the only sound I can hear. It never stops. Sometimes it speeds up to a downpour, sometimes like a leaky tap.

Even I wonder now, how much blood exactly is there in me. Is it never-ending? or am I soon dying? If I am dying will anyone mourn me? Have I been that much of an evil that I have squashed any hope of even sliver of good thought in regards to me?

I am a curse. A vicious one.

I doom anything and anyone who ever comes in contact of me.

In a way it is good, deserving even that I am here. Bound and whipped. There is not a single part of me not in pain. But I am used to it. It is my old companion. In this state, with no hopes of ever leaving, I can't even conjure strength to even speak. So safe to say that I will not be making any escaping attempts, not that I am inclined to anyway. This is what I deserve.

This has been my life for god knows how long.

I cannot even determine the passing of days anymore. Earlier there was a guard change that helped me, but now nothing is routine.

They come when they want to. Do what they deem fit for the lowly dirt that I am. So many people, filled with self- righteous anger. Their faces have blurred in my mind. Am I really seeing anything or anyone anymore? They want to avenge people they might not even know.

They want to be an upstanding individual in society and get rid of the evil. But of course not so fast. Not before getting a string of words out of his throat that they so desire. For the greater good.

They have one goal and will do anything to achieve it. The more crueler and painful way the better. 

"WHY WEI WUXIAN"

I can never give an answer that is satisfactory to them. As all I have is my version of truth. And that is not necessarily what they require.

They have also become more creative as the days passed. Questioning in the true sense have ceased a long time ago. Now there is just flickering between pain and numbness.

Now I am kept under the spell. The silencing spell so that I can open my mouth to answer only in the presence of the high and mighty of the cultivation world. Which is such a plus point when they are mostly not there but others are wanting to make me speak when I can't. So they make content with coming up with ways to make me.

I am surprised they still find a new way to 'question' me daily. If I have to look at the silver lining here, it would definitely be the new ways that they come up with. The ever curious part of me has learned of a new way that I never thought was possible before. But it was. In the most painful way possible I was made familiarized to them.

A healer is always nearby. Who can be barely called a healer. But the purpose is so very different than usual. They are there to make sure I don't dare die before they permit that is.

Every so often they come to make sure I am still alive. And then the 'questioning' continues.

I have lost count of how many spells I broke through and how many bones they. Even though I tried to not utter a single sound and give them the pleasure of achievement but I guess I am not strong enough.