Love, Apple [On Hold]

The hard truth

"What's all the commotion out here?" 

Oh god, Apple thought, as if it couldn't get any worse, Martha came outside after hearing Johns's loud cackling.

John stopped laughing and was now grinning as he passed Apple a towel for her face, she took it and quickly wiped her face free of mud, her face felt hot and she knew Martha was seconds away from asking what was going on.

"Come on dear, time to clean up, dinner is almost done and I made your favorite!" Martha excitably says, reaching out her hand to help Apple to her feet.

Martha turned and went back inside, John came up beside her and ruffled her hair, messing it up completely with his hand.

"Don't worry Applebee, I won't say anything to Marth, just don't do anything I wouldn't do, he is older than you by a few years."

Apple groaned out and felt her cheeks warm.

"I'm just saying, you're almost eighteen, isn't he twenty-one? Or was it twenty-two?" He ponders.

Apple knew the numbers, and the fact she'd not told anyone her age, she already felt like an outcast from skipping a few steps in the educational system, she didn't need people knowing just how and why she was there, amongst older people.

"It's not like that." 

As soon as the words left her mouth, she felt like Luka had just rejected her, but she was right and there was indeed nothing going on with them both, she could only wish to have someone like Luka Ellis physically attracted to her.

But she knew it was impossible, no matter how much she tried, or how much they ate together, she couldn't reach him, he was too good for her.

"I didn't mean it like that." His voice softens as he places his hand on her shoulder. "He would be lucky to have you, Applebee, I just don't want you to get hurt."

"Luka is a great guy, and one heck of a player, but not that far away he will be gone and you will be-"

"I know." She snapped out, not wanting to hear him finish.

Moving away from John, she looked down at her feet and wished it swallowed her whole. 

"Don't you think I know that? Why do you think I-" 

Swallowing hard, she feels grow cold at almost telling him what she had done to even get Luka to notice her, she felt too ashamed for the words to leave her mouth, so instead, she clenched her fists and stopped herself from saying anything else.

"I'm sorry for raising my voice... I'm just going to wash up, Martha is expecting us."

With that, she turned around and left John, not before looking back once more and seeing the look on his face, filled with confusion and hurt, once seeing his face she regret talking to John like that, he didn't deserve it.

The more the thought about everything Luka Ellis, the more she tried to forget him, but it was impossible when he was everywhere and nowhere, yet she thought of him, like a sickness she couldn't stop looking forward to being ill, if she got to see Luka, it was worth it.

The truth was, Apple was afraid of never seeing him again, she obviously knew his future was bright, and so did everyone who knew of him, and the thought of not even speaking to him, having him look at her, spend time with him, all of that made it too much for her.

Apple didn't want to regret not making a move, she didn't want to be a coward anymore, she wanted the college experience that people Luka's age experienced, all the time she spent so far had been alone, and truth be told if anyone were to ask, she longed for a normal life.

What is normal though? Every time she thought about what it was it came up blank, she had an extraordinary upbringing with an exceptionally smart father and an overly cold artistic mother, two completely different people had shaped Apple and her life from the moment she was born.

Being around other kids was hard, she knew she was smarter than them, so did they, so it became impossible to interact with kids her age, and skipping years certainly didn't help, she was a ghost, spending most of her time studying or reading, she was alone and knew nobody cared to know her.

Considering all the failures of making friends and experiencing life like a teenager, after watching Luka and knowing she was running out of time, she knew that it was now or never, she'd regret it forever if she didn't at least try.

Luka Ellis couldn't be reached, but maybe... just maybe, he'd take a chance on her and actually mean what he said about being friends, it was better than nothing.

For now, she tried to forget her toxic thoughts and look on the bright side, after all, tomorrow was another day and now he knew her name and who she was, things were looking up, only if there was so little time left, she was going to make the most of it.

He was worth the risk of heartbreak, after all, it was on her list.