fire

THE DIARY

21/02/2012

I just got accepted into this agency whit my beautiful best friend Nari, I hope she has a nice life actually she is so kind even tho she seems evil and mean? I know she has a pretty soul.

I was practising today, the practice is so hard but I will do whatever I can to accomplish my dream.

09/03/2012

I have a crush, I told Jungkook about it he didn't seem happy. This evil bitch is always like that, I don't know why I like him but I am too scared to ruin our friendship. I told Nari about it too she was happy for me but worried too since he was from another agency but he is just a crush.

16/03/2012

he smiled at me today I am so happy. Nari is still annoyed about it but I didn't do anything wrong we don't even talk there is nothing to worry about.

19/03/2012

I asked for his number today and he accepted, I think he likes me too.

22/03/2012

I just asked for his name he has a beautiful name and he is still a trainee too, I guess we are meant for each other.

25/03/2012

We don't talk so much since he is busy but I am busy too even tho the manager screamed at me today cause I wasn't concentrating, but I will try harder.

05/04/2012

I saw him today whit another girl in the cafe, she was pretty and skinny, I think he doesn't like me cause I am fat should I go on a diet.

10/04/2012

my manager told me today that there is a show that will help my career but I need to get prettier and skinnier so I can get accepted.

15/04/2012

I am on a strict diet of one apple a day I think I am getting skinnier, and Chan and I met today at a coffee and drank tea together I think I fell in love.

17/04/2012

Chan invited me to a dinner today whit other trainees from a different agency and I accepted, I asked Nari and she said she was busy, whatever I AM GETTING READY FOR IT.

25/04/2012

The dinner was so good me and Chan talked the whole night I was so happy I think I am in love. I also show him my dance performance and he said that it's good but I need to practice more so we can debut together.

27/04/2012

I am still on my diet, the choreographer told me today that I will never debut I don't learn how to dance so I did an extra effort by practising more at home.

29/04/2012

Chan ignored me the whole day, I saw him glancing at me but still, he acted like he doesn't know me when I approached him. I think the agency is gonna kick me out they said that I am ugly and my dance is terrible. and my mom is sick, I can't do this anymore.

01/05/2012

I will ask Chan out today, I am sure he will say yes.

I WAS ABOUT TO FLIP THE PAGE BUT I WAS TOO SCARED, 02/05/2012 I READ THE DAY MAYA KILLED HERSELF.

02/05/2012

I am tired...

the agency told me to leave and that they can't keep me, Nari doesn't answer my call's saying that she has to write a song for this really famous band, Jungkook just debuted all my friends are lucky, why? why is my life like that? I have ED now, I see a therapist every week, my mom hates me, Chan hates me...

Chan rejected me, I loved him why would he do that, why doesn't he love me, is it because I am ugly, am I fat, am I not pretty, why doesn't he like me? that is it I am ending it all...

THIS IS ALL BECAUSE OF CHRIS CHAN

THE END