Numb ---- Suicidal Todoroki x Bakugo----[BOOK 1]

63 - Morning

Bakugo's POV:

I woke up the next morning feeling fine. Todoroki was still asleep, so I took the opportunity to grab a pack of cigarettes and step outside to the balcony.

I sat leaning against the rail, so I could see inside the dorm room still. If Todoroki woke up, I'd have time to hide the cigarettes.

I removed one from the cart and lit it, feeling relieved just at the hint of smoke in the air. I inhaled for a few seconds, then watched the smoke cloud around me as I exhaled.

See

Now that's way better than the vape

It's a completely different sensation

Or maybe it's just more familiar to me

I'm not sure

Whatever

I inhaled again, leaning my head against the rail and looking up. A slight breeze passed through and I closed my eyes, easing my anxiety. I felt much better now than I did the night before.

I heard the door to the balcony open and I jolted awake.

Shit

Did I doze off?

I glanced over and--unsurprisingly--Todoroki was standing in the doorway. There wasn't a whole lot of expression on his face, but I could sense his sympathy. And most importantly, I knew he understood.

But I don't need anyone's sympathy.

"Tch."

I sighed and stood up, throwing the cigarette at the ground and stomping on it. I didn't say anything and neither did he.

I went to walk past him, but he grabbed my hand as I did so. I looked down and sighed in defeat, not bothering to look at him.

Great

Now he's just gonna lecture me

Like a fucking hypocrite

I don't have time for a damn lecture about drugs

Or about my "mental health"

Or  my"inferiority complex"

That's what he calls it

He thinks it's some huge issue

It's one cigarette

That's it

There's nothing even wrong

As long as I tell myself that there's nothing wrong

Then there's nothing wrong

And he can get over it

He moved his hand away and I was prepared for him to say something. I was expecting a lecture, or meaningless pity, or maybe even a slightly angry response. Anything.

But to my surprise, he just walked closer to me and wrapped his arms around me.

"It's ok.....I'm sorry." He muttered. "I'm sorry for not checking up on you more."

I don't know why, but in that moment I wanted to cry. I don't know why that hug meant so much to me, or why his words or his apology hit me so hard. I didn't hug him back. I just stood there in shock. I rested my forehead on his shoulder and let a few tears fall. Not many--maybe five at most. But I knew he felt them when they hit his shoulder and chest.