Everything but time [Tom Hiddleston] {EBT book 1/4}

Pieces

Hot. Hot. Too hot.
Kate woke again and realised it was probably almost lunchtime, the sun was blazing high in the sky. The sheets were wet from her shower and Tom was wrapped tightly around her, breathing slowly.
Too hot. She needed to move, she felt like she was being suffocated.
She slid out of his embrace and sat on the edge of the bed, taking him in. This time tomorrow she would be alone again and he would be on his way to London. She had known this day was coming but now that it was almost here she felt panicked. She honestly wasn't sure she could go through with it, let him love her from afar. All those beautiful women he worked with, every single day. She knew how easily a role could spill over in to reality and feelings develop between actors. She had seen it happen. She knew Coriolanus well enough to know he would be kissing another woman, loving another woman, almost every day. What if the temptation and loneliness got too much and he gave in to it? The thought alone almost broke her heart.
She dressed quickly in a flowing cream dress, swept her hair in to some semblance of a ponytail and went quietly downstairs to the deck. The same thoughts kept racing through her mind, she needed to protect herself from being hurt like that again, not put her heart directly in danger. She was out of options. Heartbreak now and never see him again, or bigger heartbreak later. She put her head down on the table and sighed. Not for the first time the idea of giving up her career and going with him grew in her mind. She would be close to him all the time, see him every day, go anywhere he went. Keep him in sight. Is that what trust is about? Always being in arms reach in case of temptation. A voice yelled in her head, replaying an old conversation: 'I wouldn't have noticed her if you weren't on the other side of the world! If you loved me you wouldn't have left my sight!' She groaned out loud in frustration.
"There you are," Tom was leaning against the door frame. She hadn't even heard him coming. "Penny for your thoughts?"
"Do you want me to quit my job and come with you?" The question escaped before she had time to retract it.
"No. I mean yes, if that's what you want. But you love what you do. I couldn't ask you to do that. Honestly I think you'd go out of your mind travelling around all the time with nothing to do."
"But I'd be with you," she said softly.
"Are you worried about missing me, or me not missing you."
"A bit of both?" That was the truth, but she didn't want him to be mad and she tensed.
"Katie, if you want to come with me I will move heaven and earth to make sure we're never apart. But we both love our jobs and neither of us would be satisfied being together every day and nothing else." He stopped and sighed. "I'm sorry. I know it's hard and I should have considered the effect on you more thoroughly before-"
"Before what? Taking me out, kissing me, sleeping with me, or telling me you love me and squeezing me in to your schedule." She spat the last word and he visibly recoiled as though he had been stung. "Tom, I'm -"
He put his hand up and walked inside. "I need a few minutes," he said over his shoulder.
Kate was suddenly very aware that this wasn't her home. She picked up her bag from the kitchen and closed the front door softly behind her. She sent a text so he wouldn't worry. 'Please don't be mad at me, I'm sorry. I'm going back to my house, just to give you some space xx'
Tears sprung to her eyes as she walked. This wasn't how their last day was supposed to go. She had a beautiful dress picked out because they were going somewhere special for dinner. A few hours ago they hadn't wanted to waste a moment, and now she had to give him time, the one thing they didn't have. Everything but time. She remembered the day before, the piano, the emotions. Opening the front door she collapsed on to the carpet, unable to hold it in any longer, sobs racking her small body.
It was only a few minutes before Tom came quietly in the door. She heard him but didn't look up, she didn't want to face him and didn't have the strength. Her scooped her up and took her to the couch, sitting her down on his lap and pulling her in close to his chest.
"I'm so sorry darling," he was choking back tears. "Please let me explain what I meant. I never had a choice in falling for you. I've wanted you since before I laid eyes on you. But I'm, a package deal, and not an easy one to take on. It's not fair to you to expect you to be OK with all this after a week together. You're a remarkably strong woman, Kate, more than you give yourself credit for. You're scared, I know. And I can't expect you to trust your heart with me when we barely know each other. I won't ask you to do that."
"Wait, are you-" Kate lifted her head to look at Tom's face and realised his cheeks were wet with tears.
"Whatever you need, I'll do it. You want me to check in with you 100 times a day? Put a tracker on my phone, anything you want. Name it and I'll do it until I've earned your trust. Because I will never, ever, hurt you, my darling. But I don't know how to show, other than time. I wish I could peek in to 5 years from now and show you that it will work out," he let out a shaky sigh.
Kate wiped his tears with her fingertips, kissing his cheeks and then his mouth.
"I don't need any of that, Thomas. That's not what trust is about. It's just something I'll have to practice." She held on to his shirt and looked in to his eyes. "I love you, and I'm so sorry for what I said." He nuzzled his face in to her neck and they sat for what seemed like hours, both of them reflecting on the week that had passed.
Eventually Tom pulled Kate's face to his and kissed her. There was nothing left to say, nothing left to do but enjoy the few remaining hours.
"I'm going to let you get ready for dinner and I'll pick you up at 6:30, OK?"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. You have a lot to take in and I don't want you worrying about anything tonight. Tonight you are all mine." He stood and started for the door, then turned back, pulling her up to him. "I almost forgot," he pulled a long blue velvet box from his pocket and opened it toward her. Inside was a white gold necklace with a heart shaped diamond pendant.
Tears began to tumble down Kate's cheeks again. "It's beautiful, Tom. I don't deserve this," she ran a fingertip over the sparkling diamond.
"Yes, you do. Now more than ever. You have my heart, Kate. Only you. And you'll be reminded whenever I'm not with you." He locked the clasp at the back of her neck, the heart sat high in the centre of her chest.
"Thank you," was all she could say. She pulled him in close and kissed him slowly, letting her tongue linger on his lips.