car rides

25

TWS:
mature language
mentions of loss

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He got home later that day only wanting to lay in bed and sob throughout the entire night.

Of course his parents asked him if he wanted to talk about anything. Yet all he wanted was to be alone. To be alone knowing his lover is gone.

His parents only wanted what was best for him as well as wanting to give him his wishes so of course they let him be alone.

He collapsed on his bed. For all he could do was sob.

He's gone.

He's fucking gone.

He's fucking gone and it's my fault.

Why...?

Why!?

Fucking why...?

He went to his phone again. Opening Spotify as something told him to go to George's account.

Maybe he wanted to go to his account because he just felt loss. He didn't know why he yearned to go to his account.

He felt his heart sink once again as he saw a playlist titled "golden retriever <3"

He placed his headphones in his ears as he softly sobbed. Realizing he'd never seen this playlist on George's account.

Wondering when this playlist was made. Seeing as it was made months ago. Way before the two had even started dating.

Feeling himself sob as he realized how long George has had this playlist.

Sobbing more as he realized the playlist was made public a couple hours ago. Before they got in that stupid car.

He scrolled through all the songs, seeing as Sparks was the first song on the playlist.

God all he could do was sob.

Seeing songs that made him feel comforted.

Seeing songs that even reminded him of George.

The only song he felt caught his eye in this moment was the first song he ever felt connected to George with.

Crying more as he played it in his ears.

recommend song for scene:
sparks: coldplay

He turned his phone off as he stared at his ceiling. Feeling his facial expression go numb.

Knowing he'll only cry more the more memories he thinks of.

Feeling his tears fall to his ears as he reminisced all the memories he's had with George.

When they first met.

When they first hung out.

When they first hugged.

When they first began flirting with each other.

When they first did homework together.

When he first called him "pretty boy." "Bye pretty boy."

When he was first called "golden retriever" "Bye golden retriever!"

When they cuddled after that stupid party. "Just let me fall sleep like this."

When he noticed George starring at his bare back. "What are you staring at George?"

When George hugged him in the middle of the rain. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!"

When they first kissed. "You're too beautiful to not kiss."

When he saw George's pupils dilate. "Your eyes are doing a thing George."

When he first made him go completely red. "Stop looking at me like that!"

When they officially called it dating. "I want you to be my boyfriend George."

When George caught his pupils dilating. "Now your eyes are doing the thing."

When he let George break down in his arms whilst he was stressed about the whole Melissa situation. "I will always be that person that's on your side. Never ever think otherwise."

When they went on their first late night car ride. "This road is really nice... it's empty at night."

When he gave George those toffee brown roses. "I got them because they remind me of your eyes."

When they first watched the sunset on an empty meadow together. "The view isn't as stunning as you..."

When he gave George all those neck pecks that one morning. "You're skin is so soft... how can I not?"

When he wanted to surprise George with that full moon view above a mountain. "You can sleep on our way there if you want."

When they made out on the back seat of the car. "Clay... there's something in your face."

When he almost told him he loves him. "George. I..."

When he felt angry seeing Karl talk with him. "Who's this?"

When he felt his heart collapse to the pit of his stomach seeing Karl kiss George, not knowing George didn't want that kiss.

When they had their first and last argument. "You don't... you don't trust me Dream?"

When they had their last kiss. "You stay in perfect quality. You're just so gorgeous."

When they first said "I love you." "I love you Clay." "I'm so fucking in love with you George."

When he watched the life fade from his face. "I need you... Don't go please..."

When he realized he'd lost him. "He's gone."

The last time he ever saw him. "I love you pretty boy."

Of course he remembered the memories between the car and Karl showing up. Yet these felt more important to him.

They felt significant for they were the moments he'd realized how in love he is with him.

All he could feel was his heart completely wrench.

Wrench as he thought of these memories.

He couldn't stop crying. He only felt his heart break and break into more pieces as it tried so hard to fix yet it couldn't.

It just couldn't.

Why did you have to leave me...?

I was so happy...

Was.

Past tense....

I was so happy when you were right here.

I was so happy whenever you kissed me.

I was so happy whenever you held me.

I was so happy with you.

I was so happy...

Drista couldn't help but almost cry herself.

Hearing her brother's muffled sobs knowing he had just lost the one he is completely and utterly in love with.

She couldn't help but cry at the fact that she herself had just lost a brother figure.

She'd always seen George as another brother. 

She'd always seen him as family. Loving the way he interacted with her as if she were his younger sister.

Of course she couldn't compare to the pain Dream was in, she knew his case was worse.

Yet she couldn't help but cry herself to sleep that night.

Dream couldn't sleep at all as he pretended he held George that night while he sobbed.

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