Insomniacs (#1)

57. countdown*

a rollercoaster. good luck.

Luca.

I love the feeling of adrenaline. The crowd, the lights, the tension, the highs and lows, the anticipation of a boxing match. It's always been where I thrive most, where I feel like I'm doing what I do best.

But it isn't home. Because here, my fingers running through her hair, her head on my chest - this is home.

I've wanted to spend every second of every minute with her, this past week. And not being able to has been killing me, literally. I feel fucking starved when I'm not around her. I'd steal her away from all her responsibilities and keep her right by me if I could.

I've thought of altogether dropping the competition just to stay in bed with her longer, her bare body curled up against mine. She'd punch me again before she let that happen though.

Tomorrow's the fight. The hardest one yet, the strongest fighter so far.

I've been training like hell, which isn't good for me and I know it. But doing any excessive exercise at all isn't good for me and I've known that since I was a kid. That hasn't stopped me from taking up one of the most demanding sports and sticking with it my whole life.

Miguel's been pissy with me. He always is when I overwork myself and forces himself in my room every morning to make sure I take my anti-arrhythmic medication. Like I've ever forgotten it, he's just paranoid and needs to soothe his own mind.

He even tried to book me in for a check up but I skipped it, getting in another hour of sparring with Duke instead.

When he finds out about that, he's gonna be a little more than pissy. But its useless. I don't need checkups, he knows its the same. Fine as long as I take my medication. My condition isn't one that needs to be monitored. Its just there and dormant.

I've trained relentlessly with Duke and Ty, who truly think I've got this fight if I keep my head in the game. It's an important fight, the scouts for the academy up in New York I'm interested in will be there.

If I screw up, I'm not getting in. Its prestigious and they only take in the best of the best.

And I don't really care about my steps after high school asides from having Ria. With me, in my life, in the same city.

Though she'll be travelling for months at a time, I've assured myself its okay because at least she'll be coming right back to me for the most of the year. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited for us to move to New York City, the place she adores. A spot of memories for us.

I should ask Ria if she's finished applying for Lana's scheme. She brushes it off every time I do, I haven't looked over the fact.

I return to the present when Aria stirs a little in my arms, lifting her face from my chest to tuck it into my neck. Her leg hooks over my hip and her one hand rests against my torso. She's fast asleep and when she is, she snuggles as close to me as she can get.

She's not conscious but it's just her thing. Soon, she'll curl up closer and then closer and when we wake up in the morning, she'll be on top of me like a koala, her head on my chest. I smile a little as I kiss the top of her head, I love it about her.

But, then again, there isn't a thing I don't love about her.

And to know she loves me too still feels surreal. It makes my chest swell with emotion, like my lungs become balloons that are about to burst. She says it to me so easily now.

Last night, she'd said it so calmly as she was drifting asleep but I'd stayed up for hours after. Repeating it in my head, the three words, the way she said them to me. Trying to ease my racing heart and my giddy fucking smile.