In Your Time

Chapter 15

Sooji has been awake for almost 15 minutes now. She remembers what happened last night. Very clearly. How she's crying and Shihyun was trying to can her down. How they both finally fall asleep together. She just can't figure out how to let go of Shihyun's arm that's currently draped around her, holding her in his hug without waking him up.

Maybe it's okay to wake him up. They did nothing right? But she feels like she can't face him right now. Especially in this weird position.

"You're thinking too loud...", Shihyun mumbles.

"You're awake??", Sooji looks up to see Shihyun was still closing his eyes. And somehow his hand is still holding her. Pulling her closer to him.

"Hmm...Maybe...How long have you been awake..."

Sooji gulps. His raspy voice. And the way his body feels against hers. Making it so hard for her to remember what she was going to say. "I...", Sooji wriggles out from his hold and gets up. She needs to put a space between them for her brain to function again. "I've been awake for a while..."

Shihyun finally opens his eyes when he lost her warmth. He bites his lips trying not to grunt when he sit down. Why did the wound still feel awful every time he tried to move? "What is it?", Shihyun asks. Because he can see, she clearly has a lot in her mind.

"Umm...about last night...I am sorry if I make you uncomfortable...", suddenly waking up with a man in her bed after a night of bad dreams might be confusing. Shihyun wasn't sure how much she remembers about last night.

"Is it weird if I tell you that it's actually the best sleep I had for a while..."

"Huh?"

"Knowing that you're here...safe with me..."

"Stop it...", Sooji takes a deep breath. "Stop saying all those sweet things to me...I know you don't really mean it..."

"I mean it..."

"No...because I am not her...you only mean what you said to her...not me...never me...", she can't even say that name out loud. Sooji bites her lips. She won't cry. No. This time she won't cry.

"What?"

"Forget it...you should go back to your apartment."

"No. I know you remember..."

Sooji freezes. She should expect that. "Yes. I remember clearly when you said that we should never see each other again...that we should just be strangers..."

It's Shihyun's turn to lost his words.

"I can grant you that now...you can walk out to this apartment and promise to be a stranger again..."

"Sooji...no..."

"Don't worry...this time I won't try to kill myself again...you don't have to pity me or feel guilty...", Sooji smiles bitterly.

"Choi Sooji...I know that I can't go back in time to take all those stupid words that I said to you...I've said that...and I am sorry...all I could think at that time was...we need to stop hurting each other...I am so stupid for not realizing that those words would hurt you even more..."

Sooji looks away. Because if she looks him in the eyes. Her heart will give up instantly. That's how much power he has over her.

"I mean every word I've said to you...I am just too coward to prove it...I am sorry that I chose the easy way and left...but I am here now because I want to keep all the promises that I made to you...". Shihyun reaches Sooji's hand and gives her a gentle squish. "Choi Sooji...look at me..."

Sooji hesitantly turns to face him. He looks so lost and desperate.

"I know you won't just believe my words...because I always failed you...but can you at least give me a chance to prove it...to rewrite everything...", Shihyun pleads. "You can take time as long as you want...I'll wait..."