Second Chances: The Return of Gollum

Chapter 51

"Abby... what––what are you doing here?" asked Hayley, completely shocked to see her again.

"I come here every Christmas," said Abby. "Great performance, Sméagol."

Sméagol smiled sweetly. "Awww, thank you, Abby."

"So, how did your surgery go?" asked Hayley.

"Oh, it went great," said Abby. "I just have to use this wheelchair for hopefully only six months." Yes, Abby was in a wheelchair. "It's okay, though. It's actually pretty cool. It's one of those chairs that lets you stand up."

"Oh, I've seen those. They're pretty neat."

"Yeah." Then, Abby changed the subject. "Hey, Cheyenne, can I talk to you for a second?"

"Uhhh, sure," I said nervously as we all followed her into a back room.

"Look, Cheyenne... I'm..." She took a deep breath. "I'm really sorry I abandoned you."

"It's okay," I said awkwardly.

"No, it's not okay. I was going through some stuff, but that was no excuse to turn my back on my best friend."

"No, seriously, it's––"

"No, listen," Abby said sadly. "I don't know if I ever told you, but... I have an eating disorder. I'm bulimic... except for the binging part. My family... they always give me crap about my weight. Like, at Thanksgiving, they told me I needed to watch my calorie intake If I wanted to be pretty enough to attract a husband... and that was when I ate a stupid piece of bread. My family always criticizes me, not just about my body. Everything. When I was in school, it was about my grades, even though I got straight A's. Then, it was my career choice. I wanted to be a singer, but they wanted me to be an accountant. They said I wasn't good enough to make it as a singer... and I'm not pretty or skinny enough. Now, they say I'm not pretty enough to get a husband, because I'm still too fat. I'm underweight, because I throw up my food every time I eat."

"That is disgusting," Hayley said angrily. "What kind of parents do that stuff to their own kid? That just makes me so mad."

Gollum nodded in agreement.

Abby continued. "When I turned on you... I was at rock bottom with my eating disorder. I was having a lot of problems with my family. I had a really bad fight with my parents. Before then, I was finally recovering, but when they dropped by, they gave me more crap about... everything. I tried to talk to them, but they kept talking over me. As soon as they left... I went straight to the bathroom, and... you know. I started overexercising again, taking weight loss pills and laxatives, and... cutting myself." Tears formed in her eyes. "When my parents found out, they said I was a huge disappointment to them, and no amount of dieting and exercising could make me good enough or pretty enough or successful enough... and nobody could ever love trash like me." She began sobbing, but continued talking. "I ended our friendship, because I thought you would be better off without me. I wasn't good enough for you. And, you're not the only friend I pushed away. I wouldn't talk to anybody after that. I know how this all sounds... like I'm trying to guilt you into being my friend again, or I'm trying to make you feel sorry for me. I swear I'm not. I don't want any pity, and I totally and completely, absolutely understand if you don't wanna be my friend again. I know you've had enough people turn on you, and try to weasel their way back into your life. I know how that feels, and you don't deserve that. But, I swear to God that, if you do decide to be my friend again, I will never walk out on you again, ever. I won't keep anything from you. No secrets. I'll be completely and totally honest with you, a million percent, and I will always be there for you. If you don't believe me, that's okay, but if I have to, I will do whatever it takes to earn your trust back. I miss you, Cheyenne. You were the best friend I ever had. You were the sister I always wanted."

I wiped tears from my eyes. "Abby... you were right. I did lean on you too much. I do that with everyone I get attached to. I lean on them too much, until they can't take it anymore. I put too much on people, and I drive them out of my life. I didn't know you were going through all that crap. If I did, I would've stopped leaning on you so much. Okay, I probably wouldn't, but if you told me to stop, I probably would." I sighed. "Okay, no, I wouldn't."

"No. You didn't lean on me too much. I promise. I used that as an excuse to cover up the truth. Cheyenne, I know you. If I told you the truth, you would've been there for me. You would've tried really hard to convince me why my family's wrong."

"Because, they are."

"See? You're a really good friend, Cheyenne, and I am so sorry I hurt you. I really am. You don't have to tell me now if you forgive me or not. You can think about it if you have to. Take all the time you need. Just know that... I love you so much."

I was completely stunned. I didn't know what to say. When we went out for our usual after-church lunch, I barely said anything. I just listened to the conversations between Hayley, Gollum, and Sméagol while I stuffed my face. When we got home, I took a long nap. When I woke up, I was still confused, still at a loss for words.