Second Chances: The Return of Gollum

Chapter 33

It was the beginning of November, and choir rehearsals for our upcoming Christmas concert had started. Sméagol, Hayley, and I were all ready to go.

"Are you sure you don't wanna go?" Hayley asked Gollum. "I feel really bad leaving you here by yourself, and besides, the choir would really love your voice."

"No," Gollum replied. "I'm... I'm alright, Precious."

"Okay," Hayley said hesitantly. "But, you will come to our concert next month, right?"

"Of course. After all it's done for me, how could I not show it support?"

Hayley smiled. "Awww, you're a sweetie."

Gollum gave Hayley a hug. "So are you, Precious."

Hayley giggled, and returned the hug. "Okay. We're gonna stop on the way home to get you some new clothes, so we'll be gone for a few hours."

"Take your time."

"And, if you need us, Sméagol left his phone here for you to use. You know how to use it, right?"

"Yes, I does."

"Okay. You call me if you need anything."

"I won't disturbs you, Precious."

"Okay. If you get hungry, there's plenty of food in the fridge and the pantry.

Gollum smiled. "I knows. Thank you."

"Okay." Hayley gave him one more hug. "We'll see you in a little while, Honey."

Then, Sméagol and I gave him hugs, and the three of us left for rehearsal.

While we were gone, Gollum hesitantly got up from the couch, and tiptoed over to where we kept all our DVDs. He searched through them, until he found The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. Just like Sméagol, he fast forwarded to the Riddles in the Dark scene, and the frightened look on Bilbo's face broke his heart. Not only that, but the fact that he actually wanted to eat him made him feel so sick inside. Looking at Bilbo now, he had absolutely no desire to hurt him, even when he took the ring. He understood why Bilbo did it, and it wasn't to hurt him.

His heart also hurt for Sméagol, who was so happy to finally have a new playmate. All Sméagol wanted was someone to talk to, someone to play with, but he and Gollum were both starving, as they were only living off of bats, cave fish, and goblins.

When he finished watching the scene, he tearfully removed the DVD from the player, put it back in its case, and placed it back on the shelf where he found it. Then, he grabbed Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, inserted it into the DVD player, and paid close attention to the story. Seeing his "Precious" again did not bring him the joy it once did. It was no longer beautiful or even the slightest bit appealing in his eyes anymore. In fact, it repulsed him. Finally having an outside perspective of the ring, he was beginning to understand why it needed to be destroyed. It was pure evil, and seeing all the pain and suffering it caused the Fellowship made his stomach turn.

"What did I ever sees in that wretched piece of rubbish?" he muttered to himself.

When he finished watching the movie, he was about to watch The Two Towers when we came home. However, after we went to bed, he stayed up to watch it with the volume turned down, so he would not wake anyone up. Once again, seeing everything from an outside perspective tore him up inside. From when he attacked the hobbits to get the ring back to the fight he had with Sméagol to the plan he concocted to get the ring back, it was all too much for him to take, but he kept watching. Like Sméagol, he wanted to understand the error of his ways.

The Forbidden Pool scene was the most enlightening for him, as he saw that Frodo did not betray him, but did indeed, try to save him. He understood that the actions of Faramir and his rangers were not Frodo's fault, not even a little bit. Seeing Sméagol getting beat up by the rangers shattered his already broken heart. "How could they hurts my poor Sméagol like that?" he said to himself as tears came pouring out of his eyes, seeing Sméagol lying helplessly on the ground, sobbing his poor heart out. Oh, how he longed to reach through the screen, and hold Sméagol in his arms.

One thing, however, made him feel more joy than the ring ever did, and that was the powerful bond between Sam and Frodo. He never wanted to admit it before, but he longed to have the same kind of bond with Sméagol. Like Sam protected Frodo, Gollum was protective of Sméagol, but unlike Sam, he never really knew how to show Sméagol the love he had for him. He didn't know how, even though he felt it so deeply.

At the same time, it hurt him, because he finally understood why Sam hated him so much. Sam was not a nasty hobbit, just someone who loved his best friend so much that he would do anything to protect him, just like Gollum would for Sméagol. He also realized how he truly felt about Sam. He never hated him. He was scared of him, just as Sam was of him. But... he also loved that hobbit so much, and had no desire to hurt him or Frodo, not anymore, now that the ring was no longer dictating his life.

After he watched The Two Towers, he immediately watched The Return of the King. Seeing the bond between Sméagol and Déagol warmed his heart... until the ring came in to play, and forced poor Sméagol to strangle his best friend to death. Seeing Déagol's lifeless body falling over was so overwhelming for Gollum, but he still kept watching.

He watched closely as he began to put his plan into action, but seeing the hobbits suffering and fighting for survival hurt him more than words could ever express. Seeing the burden that was forced upon Frodo, he wished he could've taken it away, not so he could have the ring back, but so he could liberate his Master. Oh, how he was dreading the Mount Doom scene, not because it meant the ring would be destroyed, but because of what happened. It was getting harder and harder to watch. He wanted to turn it off, but he was determined to be strong for the hobbits. So, he kept watching.

Well, the hobbits had finally reached the Cracks of Doom, and Gollum's heart, once again, shattered into pieces, when he watched himself throw a stone at Sam, choke Frodo, and bite off his finger to get the ring back. Then, he watched himself tumble into the fiery chasm below, and burst into tears as he wondered why the elves actually wanted him to be alive again. After everything he did, he didn't feel as if he deserved a second chance, but for some reason, the elves did.

He did his best to watch the end of the movie, but it was so hard for him to smile at all the joyful events, from the Fellowship reuniting to the King's return to Sam's wedding. He had joy in his heart for everyone in Middle Earth, knowing peace had been restored, and everything was okay again. However, he could not feel anything but shame toward himself, and heartache for Frodo who still suffered so much, even after the ring was gone.

When the movie ended, Gollum put it back in its case, and put everything back on the shelf in the order they were. Then, he sat back down on the couch, and stared at the floor for a few minutes, not knowing what to say, how to respond. The guilt and shame he felt was unbearable. He truly felt like he wanted to die again, because in his mind, the world would've been better off without him. Gosh, I know that feeling, but probably not to his extreme. I'm sure what I felt all those times was nothing compared to what Gollum was feeling right then.

It was really late... or early, and he was exhausted. He slowly stood up, and made his way upstairs, even though his body felt like it weighed a million pounds. He used the bathroom and brushed his teeth, and crawled into bed. Surprisingly, despite how much he had on his mind, he still managed to fall asleep quickly, but what followed was a series of dreadful, unbearable nightmares.