Second Chances: The Return of Gollum

Chapter 43

Later, I found Sméagol on the back porch, sitting all by himself. "Hey," I said.

Sméagol looked up from his deep thoughts. "Oh... hi, Precious," he replied glumly.

"Mind if I sit with you?"

"No. Go ahead."

"O... kay." I hesitantly sat next to Sméagol.

He put his arm around me. "I'm sorry, Baby. Sméagol's just upset."

I rested my head on his shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"After I visits Abby... I saw a little girl in the elevator. So young, so precious... and she has cancer."

My heart sunk.

"I follows her to the play room, and... more sick children there were, more children with cancers, some of them looked like they could go any minute. Very exhausted and sick they were, frightened, sad. Sméagol could see it in their parentses' eyes. They knows their time with their child is limited." Sméagol wiped a few tears away. "So young and innocent they are, so much life ahead of them, life they won't ever get a chance to live. No future they will have. All their dreams, they won't come true. Not enough time, Precious. Too sick. It's not fair." He broke down sobbing. "They tries to have fun, but Sméagol could see how frightened they are, how... devastated they are. They knows, Precious. They knows they dies... very soon."

"Yeah," I agreed, "it's not fair. There's a lot of kids out there that get sick with all kinds of diseases––cancer, heart disease, all sorts of crap. Modern medicine has come a long way, but... we still haven't found a cure for these diseases. Sometimes, people who get cancer can beat it before it's too late, but sometimes... all the chemotherapy, radiation, medication, surgery, it's not enough. The cancer's too... advanced. It sucks when it happens to anyone, but when it happens to kids... that's when I have to wonder... why? I don't know. Maybe God has a plan for them. Maybe there's a reason he sends them to us for a short time, and maybe... he needs more angels. Who knows?"

"They were so little... so... beautiful. I wanted to holds them close, takes away all their fear, makes them better. And, the parents... I wanted to do the same for them, too. My heart, it hurts so much for them all. I can't takes away their cancers, but... I can't not do anything."

"You can always volunteer," I suggested.

"Volunteers?"

"Maybe go there to spend some time with them. Listen to their stories. Be there for them. Comfort them. Cheer 'em up. Sméagol, you may not be able to take their sickness away, but you have a big, kind heart with limitless love in it. You make a big difference in a lot of people's lives just by being kind to them, sharing your love and your music with them. Maybe do that for the kids. You could play games with them, sing to them, give them lots of love, and you can even do the same for their parents. People say that love is the best medicine, and it's so true. Love is what saved my life, your unconditional love. I mean, love is God's greatest gift, and it can make miracles happen. It did make a miracle happen, actually. It made you happen."

Sméagol held me close. "Yes," he whispered, "your love made it possible for me to live again."

"No. I think that it was your love that made it possible. You were sent to me, and you gave me love, even before you showed up. That day, when I found out Logan was with another girl, I snuggled with you... when you were still inside the doll. You gave me love through the doll, and it was so special, something I'll never forget. It kept me from doing something really stupid, because I felt like I wasn't alone anymore. I wasn't."

"But, it was your love that revived me, Precious... when you said you needsed me."

"But, you were sent to me even before I knew who you were. Hayley found the doll before Logan even dumped me. I had no idea who you were, but when I looked at you, it brought tears to my eyes, seeing you for the first time. You were so beautiful."

"I remembers. Hayley gives me to you to holds. You looksed at me. You were about to cry."

"What was going through your mind then?"

"I could see you needsed me, even before you knows it."

"And, I was happy then, or at least, I thought I was."

"Sméagol could see there was pain inside you, Precious."

"There was," I said thoughtfully. "Something inside me was telling me that things were about to go up in smoke, like a gut feeling, but I ignored it. I didn't wanna believe it. But... you could see it?"

"Yes. I sees it, Precious."

I held onto Smeagol tightly. "THank God you came when you did. See? That's what I mean. Your love and kindness made a difference. It saved my life."

Sméagol thought for a moment. "Sméagol wants to volunteers at hospital," he said."

"Okay. I'll talk to Hayley; see if she can help." Then, I changed the subject. "So... how's Abby?"

"She's alright, Precious. In a lot of pain she is, but... she's alive. Having surgery tonight she is. Her legs are broken... and her right arm and her ribs. She'll be alright, though, Precious."

"Thank God," I said with a sigh of relief.

Sméagol pulled me closer. "She doesn't hates you, Sweetie."

"She doesn't?"

"No. Never did. She regrets turning against you. Still cares she does, yes. She still loves you."

"Wow... I didn't think she ever did actually love me."

"She did. She does. You were not a charity case to her. So much she has going on in her life, my sweet. Her family gives her hard time."

"Yeah, I remember. Her mom is a real bitch. I mean, she was nice to me... sometimes, but she was so hard on Abby, always giving her crap when she ate a damn French fry. It took everything I had not to pour an entire bottle of ketchup on her head. Nothing Abby ever did was ever good enough for that self-righteous bitch. Abby could get down to forty pounds, and her mom would still say she's fat. She has the job her mom wanted her to have, but it's still not good enough. She doesn't have a rich husband, isn't making enough herself, blah blah blah. I remember one time when we all went out to karaoke. Abby sang a song, and she nailed it. Her parents, however, said she was way off key, and she didn't have the body to be a superstar. They said that right in front of me, someone who has body image issues. I didn't say anything, because I was too chicken. But... Hayley gave them a death stare that scared them so bad; they nearly shit their pants."

Sméagol laughed softly.

I'm honestly surprised she didn't kick them in the crotch."

"Sméagol smiled at me. "Would it ever forgive Abby?"

I thought about it for a moment. "I mean, yeah, maybe. I don't know. I guess I've already forgiven her. I just..."

"You're afraid of what could happen if you gives her another chance."

"Yeah. I mean, you saw what happened last time. I almost killed myself."

"Yes, but now, you have friends that won't turns on you. Even if she does again, Gollum won't."

"Yeah, you know, like last night when I had that really bad meltdown, he didn't run off."

"Nope. He stays by your side. Very determined he is. When he sets his mind to something, he never, ever gives up, Precious, no matter what. He sets his mind to being your friend. He'll never give up on you, never."

"Thank God, because I couldn't bear to lose his friendship, and I'm not giving up on him, either."

Sméagol wrapped both arms around me. "Sméagol never gives up on you, either, my precious."

I kissed his lips. "Ditto. You're stuck with me."

He giggled softly.