After Death (Completed)

匚卄卂卩ㄒ乇尺 ３(Get used to it)

Chapter 3: Get Used to It

Khair Reaver

Estimated, January, 2024

About 20 months after outbreak

California

Season 3

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We met back up with the others. They smiled and hugged me when I got to the camp on the beach, but I couldn't share their happiness. I knew it was only a matter of time before they realized what my selfish ass self couldn't dare to bring attention to.

Rudi and Airi were thrilled to see Juna again, but Steve couldn't say anything as he handed her to him; he couldn't even look Rudi in the eyes. The rest greeted Tai warmly. It was like they could tell what she did for us. I could tell that Leah was skeptical about bringing someone new into this group, but she trusted my judgment enough that she reluctantly agreed.

"Have you guys seen Ethan or Edin?" Dallen asked, "They haven't come back yet." I wanted to cry just hearing them say her name. I didn't know how I was going to be able to tell them. Steve rested his hand on my shoulder. He could tell this was hard for me, but I didn't want him to be the one to tell them. Wouldn't it mean more coming from me? I was the one who led her there, after all. This was my fault. I was going to start talking, but he beat me to it. I wanted to stop him, but a part of me knew it was better this way. I just wouldn't be able to get the words out.

"We haven't seen Ethan, but Edin escaped the campsite with us. Somehow we ended up in Idaho, and then-" Steve stopped, his voice breaking. "There was a snowstorm. Edin didn't make it." Everyone fell silent. I waited for someone to say something, but no one did. I don't think they believed it at first, but when they saw the looks on our faces, they knew it was the truth.

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Ethan Warren

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I saw the billboard, and my face lit up with complete joy. I was close; they were here. It took me three days to find their campsite along the coast. Dealing with the dead was exhausting, and many of them were coming from the big cities, most likely LA. I watched from afar on the beach as they sat under the stars, drinking moonshine. I started crying tears of relief. I was home.

"Hey," I said as I approached them slowly and awkwardly. Every gun that they had turned to me, and I couldn't stop smiling. I rested my face when I saw the others didn't share the same enthusiasm. It worried me, and every bad thought I could possibly ever have rushed through my head. I thought they'd be ecstatic to see me. I could tell that they wanted to be happy, but something was holding them back. I tried to ignore the nagging feeling in my gut and focus on the familiar faces before me. As I reached out for a hug, their hesitant response confirmed my fears—something had changed in my absence.

They told me everything that happened, and I couldn't process it all. How? That was the only thing I could think of. Connor, Olivia, Camila, Aaron, and Edin, how could I let so many people go? What was I doing wrong? And then, when Leah told me about the boats, or more so, the lack of them, I felt more hopeless than I did after Loveland and after the apartment. Now that I was back, I knew they would be turning to me for answers. A new plan, but I didn't have one. I had been so focused on an island for months that I didn't know who I was without it.