Hate To Want You (18+)

27| honeymoon

B L A I R E

Logan and I had our whole plan strategized, crossing every T's and dotting all the I's. Since the honeymoon was listed for Mr and Mrs. Davis, Logan had to pretend to be Noah for a few days—in the presence of the workers anyways. I thought it would bother him but he was completely calm about the whole ordeal because in his words 'At the end of the day, it won't be Noah's name you'll be screaming'. Let's just say, my insides lit up and I've never wanted the hours in a day to go by so quickly.

This was a win-win for the both of us. Logan's never taken a vacation away from work and that's something I'll have to get used to for the upcoming years. No matter what, his job will always come first. He may have proven otherwise since we've met but we're in our honeymoon phase, so that will change. In my case, it gave me a chance to get to know him better. To learn everything about him, even his flaws.

"Hello, what are your names?" The lady at the front desk asked.

"Noah Davis and my wife, Blaire Davis." I may have thought it hadn't bothered him before but I could hear the slight disgust in his voice when he had to put Davis beside my name. I glanced up at him and wrapped my hand around his large one, our fingers intertwining. He peered down at me and his face softened when he saw the smile on my face.

"Oh, Mr and Mrs Davis. Such a beautiful couple," she swooned at us as if she could feel the emotion between us. "ID please."

Like I said, dot every I's and cross every T's. I had Eli make a new ID for Logan. So, in the eye of the public for this entire trip in the Maldives, he's known as Noah Davis. We handed her our ID's and while she inspected them, Logan leaned down to my ear.

"I want to rip that ID to shreds."

"It's just three days. Besides, Noah Davis has nothing on you. You have me, not him," I assured him and planted a kiss on his cheek.

"And you do best to remember it."

We got the ID's back along with our room keys and a brochure displaying all the things we could do. We were jet-lagged so we agreed to sleep and start our journey tomorrow. The first thing we did the next morning was schedule a couple's spa. It was fun and comedic. I've never heard someone's body crack that much. It showed how much he put even his health as a minor priority. I had so much fun laughing while he found excuses that it shouldn't be that bad because he worked out three times a week.

"It's okay, babe, I don't see you any less sexy." The masseuses found humor in my statement and so did Logan but he managed to slap me playfully on my shoulder.

Afterwards, we got brunch which he insisted to hand feed me every now and then. I found it cute. I was falling for him faster than I had planned. That was my flaw. I tend to catch feelings for a guy too easily. It was the same with Noah. He did all the right things and in the third month of knowing each other, I fell in love with him. I wasn't in love with Logan as yet but I see it happening at the end of the trip. Following brunch, we took a walk to digest our food and explore the island, bought a few souvenirs, clothes and nonsensical things in the name of spending money.

"Hell to the no." Was my answer when he suggested we go scuba diving.

"C'mon, gorgeous. Don't you want to see the beauty of the underwater creatures," he tried to persuade, kissing all over my face and my shoulder.

I pushed his face away, "I can see it just fine on National Geographic. Who knows what other undiscovered creatures are down there anyway. They tell us clown-fish but the megalodon could be real."

He laughed and accepted my refusal of not wanting to go into the unknown of the dark sea. Who in their right minds even scuba dive anyway? What, the TV isn't enough to feed your curiosity, you had to see for yourself? Either you're suicidal or just plain dumb.

He did, however, get me to swim though. He clutched his stomach as he laughed, tears coming to his eyes when he found out that Thalassophobia wasn't my only problem. It was more of the fact that I couldn't swim for the life of me.

"Come in a little further, beautiful. You can do it." As encouraging as those words, as well as the patience in his eyes, I was undetermined to go any further than under my breast. In my head, I was already too far, a step further and I will drown to death.

"No, Logan, I can't. Why can't you come closer?"

"Because I'm trying to help you get over your fear. Don't you think you're a little too old to not know how to swim?" he teased.

My mouth fell at the audacity of his sentence. "Bitch, I'm 27, not fifty. I think this is a reasonable enough age to not know how to swim."

"To me it seems like you have more than enough years to learn and we're starting now. I'm daring you. In fact, I'm double dog daring you." We had an intense and childish stare-down for a full three minutes until I blinked and gave in. He punched the air in victory while I grumbled under my breath about how ridiculous this was and how I'm going to haunt him in my grave for making me do this.

The first thing he taught me was to float, which wasn't so bad after thirty minutes. In all honesty, I may have overreacted when a small wave moved me while his hand was still on my back but in fairness, my brain was playing tricks on me. I thought the wave took me away and I was already in the middle of the ocean. He stood laughing while he watched me flap around like a crazy person and scream on top of my lungs. I really wanted a wave to take me away when my freakout caught the attention of almost everyone around us.

Floating became my new favorite thing. It relaxed the mind, soul and body. My eyes may be closed but my ears were more open than they have ever been. I could hear the laughter from families and friends, the chirping of the birds in the sky, having their conversations and the cool breeze hitting my face felt refreshing.

At the end of the day, after we ate dinner, I almost took him up on his offer to join him in the tub but we agreed on kind of taking it slow. It wasn't the normal slow pace but at the pace where we were more than comfortable with each other. Don't get me wrong, I was willing to move into his house at this moment but I wanted to make sure I wasn't rushing into everything too quickly and making any more mistakes. I was just covering my bases. Logan being the considerate man he was, had no problem.

"You're setting the pace here, gorgeous. I'm following your lead. Whatever you say goes. Whenever you want to stop this, I will abide by your wishes even if it may hurt like hell." That was the answer he gave to my suggestion and my heart was a millisecond away from beating out of my chest and falling into his hands. We did sleep in the same bed, though, because why not.

"I can't imagine being here with anyone else. I'm glad it was you." I whisper into his chest. It was true.

After I found out about Noah's infidelity, everything made sense to me. His infidelity wasn't the only problem. I felt guilty for the longest time that I was starting to lose feelings for him. All the things that were there before were just fading into the abyss; it scared me. Our engagement was slowly becoming a mess, whether we discussed it or not but we were trying to mend it and bring back what was. I convinced myself that everything was the same because I was terrified of not fighting for something that could be fixed. But it was too late for us, anyway.

"I'm glad you chose me, because I can't imagine my life with anyone else."

30/01/22

Au revoir...

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