institution for the gays (Poly) ✓ (COMPLETE) (5 Edited Chaps)

🌸 chap 5 /[revamp]\ 🌸 {M}

Ive decided to keep the smut in, but like last chapter, change... Like pretty much the whole thing to flow with last chapter. While I skimmed over it I can't believe I thought this was a good one 😭

There isn't any name calling and suicide bating like there was previously because that's fucked up (what was I thinking??) Please enjoy ..... Hopefully 🙏

I had slept in a little more later than usual, but I didn't feel any different, still tired as always. My body felt heavy and I could barely move myself to find a comfy spot on the bed without feeling the need to curl up and wish I never existed.

There were a few nocks on the door every few minutes, with some of the boys checking on me. It was constant and annoying, I grew to just try and ignore it. But the excessive nocking was starting to really be annoying.

Nock, nock.

The sound of mocking again made me sigh, "Neil? You should come out, it's almost dinner and you haven't eaten anything-"

I got out of bed and opened the door, a light smile on my face. Cole looked at me with wide eyes, taking in the appearance of me. I must look a mess.

"Sorry, I'm just really tired. Last night took a lot of energy out of me. If it's okay, of like to be left alone." I asked, watching cole as he nodded.

"Yeah, that's totally fine. If you're hungry I can bring you something." He smiled at me, pointing downstairs. I nodded, a greatful smile on my face.

"That would be nice. Thank you."

Cole took off downstairs, and I closed my door, going back to my bed. I waited only a minute before another nock was at my door. "Come in." Cole walked in with a hand full plate, and I was greatful. "Thanks again." I told him.

"No worries. Enjoy." He left my room without another hassle, and I ate silently, on my phone. I didn't finish everything, as it was morning and I didn't usually eat so early, but I was hungry.

After a while, I put the plate on my bedside table and decide to take a nap, to at least get a little more rest. I was buggered.

°_°_°_°

I don't know how longs it's been but I find myself waking up to a pitch black room, I try to adjust to the different hours of the day.

I get off the bed to walk to my closet to get some clothes, as i haden't had a shower in a few days so I need to wash myself and rid of my dirty clothes.

I walk into my bathroom and close the door, locking it. I make sure it's actually locked before turning on the shower. And then I take all my clothes off. My eyes catch myself in the mirror and I look over my body. I grimmance in disgust, my body is gross. My arms are too thin and you can almost see my bones, as well as my collar bones, they're sticking out, you can also just see my ribs and my stomach, I had lost a lot of weight, but somehow I've gained more and it's fat and big. My hip bones are showing, and my thighs are the worst, they're too big. The biggest thing on my body and I hate them. I have stretch marks all over my hips and ass and the inside of my thighs.

I actually like those, they're pretty cool. Although I still felt a tad bit embarrassed by them.

I finally tear my eyes away from my gross body and get in the shower. I stand there for a while with my eyes closed, enjoying the heat that crosses my body smoothly. Running water gliding down it in patterns, like small rivers.

I wash my hair with shampoo and conditioner quickly and just stand there for a while. I don't want to get out from the heat of the water, just stay here untill it goes cold.