The Jade Malfoy Book 2: Order of the Phoenix

Chapter 8

     "What happened in your room yesterday Cub?" Narcissa asks Ursa as Narcissa walks into the library.

     "Do not worry about it." Ursa replies as she tries to walk away. Narcissa grabs her arm and Ursa whimpers as she touches a few cuts. "Let go of me."

     "Do not tell me what to do. Your room was a mess and I see cuts on your face."

     "Apparently I shatter more fragile things when I scream okay!" Ursa snaps.

     "Why did you scream?"

     "I don't know, maybe because you yelled at me and are disgusted and embarrassed by me. Disappointed in me. Maybe because I have to abandon my friends. Maybe because you hit me." Tears start to fall down Ursa's face. "Maybe I am fucking heartbroken. Maybe I am frustrated that I can't live my fucking life how I want. I don't fucking know! I don't feel anything right now! Anything! Just... numb... I feel numb. I feel nothing. Just... I..." Ursa rips her arm from Narcissa's grip and runs out of the room.

***

(Numb – Linkin Park)

"I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface.
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes.

Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow

I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
I've become so tired, so much more aware
I'm becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me?
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control
'Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart, right in front of you.

Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow
And every second I waste is more than I can take

I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
I've become so tired, so much more aware
I'm becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

And I know, I may end up failing too
And I know, you were just like me
With someone disappointed in you.

I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
I've become so tired, so much more aware
I'm becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be"

     Draco comes into the music room where Ursa was singing. "You know you didn't soundproof the room right?"

     "Yep." Ursa replies.

     "You know none of them are going to like the lyrics."

     "Good."

     "What is wrong with you?" Draco asks.

     "You heard the song!" Ursa snaps. "Do I really need to explain?!"

     "Don't yell at me!"

     "Fuck off!"

     "Ursa! Stop it! I know you are in pain but you have to be careful! What will you say if Father or Auntie question your lyrics?"