Trial of the Times

Chapter 34 - Reflections - Rewritten

Ahsoka can't say what exactly it was that pushed her to make the final step, to ask to become a Sith like Anakin. Perhaps it was the way Anakin has become increasingly content as his training progresses. He's learning new things and making leaps and bounds while he does it. Seeing him so stable, so normal despite all of the Jedi's warnings made Ahsoka seriously reassess her stance on the Dark Side. It can be evil, just as a lightsaber can be, but it doesn't have to be.

Dooku couldn't stay any longer, so he left Anakin in charge of easing her into the Dark Side. She can feel Obi-Wan's eyes on her back; he's watching her like a hawk, and he's making no attempt to hide his displeasure in the Force. In a way, she almost feels guilty, because Obi-Wan has helped her too, but she's not betraying him by expanding her understanding of the Force. She's only learning techniques which will help her – and all of them – when they confront Sidious again. She wasn't ready on Coruscant, but she will be next time.

"Focus on me, Ahsoka," Anakin instructs, and she immediately centers her mind, blocking out Obi-Wan's feelings and keeping her concentration zeroed in on her master. Now, he's truly her master again, and he will teach her everything. It's a thrilling realization. "You have brushed the Dark Side before, and you were possessed by the Son on Mortis," he continues. "Now, you must let it in entirely. Keep your focus on me. Let me be your anchor to the Light Side."

Ahsoka knows that he's speaking from experience. She's watched enough sessions with Dooku training Anakin to realize that the Dark Side is... almost like a drug. It makes the user think things which may not be the case, especially with regards to his or her own abilities. Now she understands why arrogance and overconfidence are such common Sith traits.

"What do I do?" she wants to know. She's never gotten as close to the Dark Side as Anakin, never teetered along the edge the way he has in the past.

"Reach out, and you will find it," Anakin tells her.

"You're being as cryptic as Yoda," Ahsoka huffs, and he laughs. She smirks too, before closing her eyes and reaching out to the Force. She forces herself not to automatically seek the Light Side, instead opening herself to everything. Never before has she actively sought out the darkness – she's only ever shunned it – but Anakin is right. It doesn't take any guidance to find it; it's simply there.

She welcomes it in, letting it flood through her, shivering at the sheer coldness of it as well as the overwhelming power. How does her master control this, she wonders? The Dark Side seems to have a mind of its own. It's as if it wants to control her. Still, when Ahsoka opens her eyes, she knows that they're golden, much the same way Anakin's are when he's training. It's unnerving to see him like that, but it's – well, it's rather beautiful if she does say so herself.

Anakin's expression is filled with pride when she looks up at him. "Excellent... Lady Veritas, now, it is time for your first lesson."

***

The warm sun streams in throw the open window, warming Obi-Wan's face as he sits meditating. It's been a week since they returned to Serenno, and one day since Ahsoka decided to embrace the Dark Side. In many ways, Obi-Wan is not surprised that it came to this. He knows how much Ahsoka respects and looks up to Anakin; of course, she would want to join him fully as well. Still, that doesn't dispel the worry coiling inside of him.

It's not a result of his fear of what will happen to them now that they are Sith. Anakin is handling it admirably well, if he's being honest, and he knows that Dooku's control is unmatched. It always has been. With him coaching Anakin, there's no way that the latter will fall victim to the seductive lure of the Dark Side. So, then why is he still feeling so troubled? Why is he daily forcing himself to resist the urge to order Anakin to stop his Sith training? There's more to it than that. The core of what he's trying to answer is: why is he the way he is? Why can he not seem to dominate his desire to – to control Anakin?