Trial of the Times

Chapter 32 - A New Reality - Rewritten

Anakin freezes entirely, a flicker of panic crossing his face as he nods jerkily. It hurts to see because his fear, his uncertainty, it revolves around Obi-Wan. Open communication can be so hard sometimes, but Obi-Wan refuses to back down, even if it becomes uncomfortable for both of them. They have to talk about this because Obi-Wan wants to express his thoughts about Anakin's decision.

It took him completely by surprise, and he won't deny feeling a sting of hurt when he heard Anakin asking Dooku to teach him to be a Sith. Yes, he had known that Anakin would not be able to stay a Jedi for long when they went to Coruscant in the first place, and that was before the Council decided to expel him. Even then, Obi-Wan had hoped that Anakin would still be able to find a semblance of peace and balance even without the Order. But Anakin joined the Sith. He wants to be a Sith. It doesn't even make any sense.

All his life, Obi-Wan has been taught how dangerous the Sith are, how they need to be destroyed. He's been told how harmful and risky it is to touch the Dark Side, how it lures people in beyond the point of no return. And yet...

"It – it felt like – like I was coming home. It felt right." Anakin's words to Sidious echo through his mind; that statement may well have been one of the main reasons why the Council decided that Anakin was becoming a threat. Somehow, Obi-Wan thinks with displeasure, he should have realized that Anakin becoming a full-fledged Sith Lord was next after hearing that statement. While his former Padawan maintains that Dooku is not manipulating him, and that he can be trusted, Obi-Wan doesn't want to accept that. He can't even bring himself to believe that.

Besides, Anakin said that Dooku offered previously to train him as a Sith. It seems quite self-evident that the Count wanted Anakin to join him, albeit willingly. He got what he wanted. Obi-Wan can't quite hide his resentment at that knowledge. And yet, he appreciates that Dooku doesn't seem to be trying to usurp his role, quite the contrary, in fact. Somehow, he doubts he'd be able to refrain from lashing out in jealousy if Dooku was trying to supplant him.

"I... worry about how it will affect you to embrace the Dark Side," Obi-Wan begins, picking his words carefully. Dooku isn't exactly wrong about him having the unfortunate tendency of trying to make Anakin do what he thinks is right. It's because he was raised with the knowledge that the Code is the right way, the only way. By following the rules, he gained the Council's approval, and he gained their attention when he killed Maul. Whether for better or worse, he has always tried to make himself appear perfect to them.

Perhaps it made him a good Jedi, but it also made him blind to Anakin's struggles. He... assumed – erroneously – that Anakin would find the same peace and security that he did if only his Padawan learned to follow the Code. But the Jedi are not always right; he can see that now. The Council, the Order, they were becoming complacent and losing their way. Perhaps some of their beliefs, especially those regarding the Dark Side, are not as accurate as Obi-Wan has always been led to believe. Still, that doesn't mean that the idea of someone dabbling with the Dark Side doesn't set him on edge.

"I find it unlikely that the Jedi's warnings about individuals losing themselves to it are wrong," he explains.

Anakin's body is tensed, though he doesn't look at Obi-Wan, focusing instead on something outside the window. "Dooku managed," he points out mulishly, "And I'm far more powerful than him. If – if I'm really the child of the Force, I should be able to do what he is."

It's a fair point. "I know, but the responsibilities that you have with your power are far bigger than anything Dooku can... understand, I think," Obi-Wan replies slowly, tentatively probing Anakin through their bond. He doesn't want to upset him. They need to talk, not fight.