Infatuated with a God

Chapter Eighty-Six

"There's nothing to apologise for, Loki. I was going to have a shower, would you like to join me?" He relaxed a bit, causing me to wonder why he would have panicked in the first place. Did he think I would have a problem with waking up beside him? His insecurity was completely illogical, if anything I felt like I was making it far too clear that I craved more with him.

"Join me in my bath instead, if you wish." I murmured an agreement, but still neither of us moved. I was too lost in the feeling of holding him against me. It felt far more intimate than sex. I placed another small kiss on his shoulder and heard his deep breath as I did.

"We should–"

"Yes, we should." But still, we didn't move. Ten minutes passed with us in silence. I placed small kisses on his shoulder every now and then, while one of his hands stroked my hair and the other slowly grazed back and forth over my arm that was wrapped around his waist. I imagined spending hours in each other's arms. No sex, just a comfortable intimacy. As we led there I truly convinced myself that I could handle him leaving eventually if it meant ten or fifteen years more by his side. Afterwards perhaps he would leave, marry into royalty, and start a family. Maybe we could even remain friends beyond then. I allowed myself to believe that he would still visit me as Steve did Agent Carter. Eventually, however, my thoughts began to make my heart ache in an unfamiliar way, so I finally shifted away. Trying to ignore how his arms went to grab mine back as I did. I finally stood up and offered my hand to him. We walked in silence to his bathroom and I tried to ignore the feelings I'd only just realised. Tried to hope that it was just the dream, that my love for him could fade. That when he left that overwhelmingly loneliness wouldn't consume me the way I knew they could.

The bathroom had been a pain to design perfectly, and it took a lot of input from Thor to get it right. It was an odd feature, one that the designers agonised over and I only just realised that besides one time when it had just been completed. Loki turned the feature on, causing water flowing from a large slit in the wall, almost mimicking a waterfall as it did. Eventually the large bath filled up, steam rising off of the surface. It filled rather quickly, and I stepped down into it, pushing myself under the waterfall before it turned off. I could just about stand, in what was more of a pool than a bath. I hadn't noticed Loki get in, nor how close he was to me. It wasn't until the waterfall turned itself off and he wrapped his arms around me that I fully remembered he was here. He sat on one of the ledges and pulled me into his lap. I was firmly placed on his thighs, and he held me there as if he were scared I was going to disappear.

"Loki... what's wro–"

"I-I... I just want to hold you for a while, my Valkyrie." And he did. The water seemed to never lose the perfect temperature, and it wasn't long until I noticed the presence of his seiðr in the water around us. I stayed on his thighs, his grip preventing me from moving closer to him. I suspected it was because he was worried I would end such a sweet gesture in favour for sex. Rolling my eyes, I forced myself closer to him. I could feel his erection against my outer thigh but ignored it. He had stiffened as I moved closer, before relaxing back around me as I sank against him completely.

I had no idea how much time passed with us like this. My arms wrapped around his torso and my head on his shoulder. One of his arms around my back and one around my legs. Eventually, he placed a soft kiss against my hair before breaking the silence.

"We probably shouldn't wake up together again." I couldn't place the emotions in his tone, neither could I fully comprehend the ones I felt.

"Probably." I muttered in agreement but did not move. He didn't try to make me either. He was right. This was becoming dangerous for us. My feelings were growing too strong for him, and at some point soon I would need to check myself. I doubted I could keep seeing him at all if I needed to make them stop. As peaceful as the fantasy was, it could never come true. We were fast approaching a point of no return, one where letting him go would hurt me too badly. A point where I was sure I would do anything for him. One I had worried about him being able to exploit when it had all started. There was a flash of green and I saw a cup appear on the edge of the pool. Gently, he repositioned me, so I sat on the ledge between his legs, his erection pressed against my back and the water lapping at my breasts. In any other situation with him I would have expected something sexual from him, but the emotions around us seemed too heavy for either of us to make that move. Instead, he filled the cup with water and gently poured it over my head. When he had made sure my hair was thoroughly wet there was another flash of green in my peripheral vision. Then he began massaging soap into my hair as the air around us filled with the scent of lavender.