WARZONE

Chapter 58

That's when it clicked and it all downed on me.
I had passed out due to the peroxetine that I'd taken. The reason I'd took the pills came back to me in a wave and I inwardly cursed myself. I felt myself wince.

"Why exactly did you pump me?" I found myself asking the doctor.

"I'm sorry what?" He asked back and I could see the disbelief on his face.

"Uhm, what I mean is, was it necessary for you to pump me?"

"Ma'am if we hadn't pumped you, I don't even wanna know what would've happened. You were on the verge of an overdose."

"Verge? You mean, I almost overdosed?" I asked him.

"Yes ma'am, fortunately you didn't take enough pills."

I was angry. I could feel the irritation beginning to settle in. I thought it was finally over, I thought that I wouldn't have to wake to my life anymore but no, once again nothing happened to my favour.

Why? I should've just downed the whole damn bottle or maybe if I'd just not gotten to the hospital in time.

"Doc, you said I was brought in. By who?" I asked as realisation hit me.

"Mr Grey."

As the doctor said those words, I wanted to scream. It was his fault, if Grey hadn't brought me in I'd be gone by now and I wouldn't be feeling any of this.

The anger that I felt turned into sadness as I could feel the tears threatening to spill.
I was thankful that the doctor didn't see me and was busy with some paperwork.
I wiped my eyes dry and decided to keep myself calm for now.

"Are you feeling okay? Aside from miner exhaustion and pain, you are okay right?" The doctor asked as he now had his attention on me.

I silently nodded.

"Okay then, I'll go and inform Grey." He stated before he started for the door.

"Doctor wait." I said, stopping him.

He turned back to my direction.

"Yes?"

"Could you not tell Grey about the overdose." I told him.

"What? What do you mean not tell him? It's my job to tell him, how can-"

"I know but please don't. I'll tell him myself, I will. Just don't tell him right now." I said to the doctor in pleading tone.

"Miss October I-"

"You can say it's something else that made me pass out doc just please don't tell him the truth." I said cutting him off again.

The doctor was quiet for some time before I could defeat in his eyes.

"Okay ma'am, I'll see what I can do." With that the doctor shut the door as he left the room.

I felt relieved after the doctor complied. I wouldn't be able to tolerate Sin knowing that I overdosed. Having him know this would be the same as me allowing myself to be vulnerable to him.

That's something I can't allow myself to do.

I felt terrible. The fact that I was lying here alive in this hospital bed broken because I didn't deserve it.
I should've been dead. At least I wouldn't have to live with the burden of being the reason my parents are dead.

At least then I wouldn't have to live with the burden of being a murderer.

Lying back down into the hospital pillow, I welcomed the sorrow that I was feeling.