Untitled Part 49

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"No." Matt told me, shaking his head.

Where are we three days later?

Still at Matt's house.

Jesus christ, I just want to go home. I haven't been home in months. I miss the quiet. That's all I want is a little peace and quiet. Brian is even feeling the same way. He wants to be in his own house too. Matt is saying otherwise when I just told him this.

I've spent the last three days trying to process everything. It's a lot to take in. I'm still undecided on what to do with Carlos. I know he was a piece of shit, but, he was a human being. A rather shitty human being, but, still. I mean, I'd like to think if the situation was reversed, he'd do the same for me? God, I don't even know.

"Know what? Fuck this. I'm going to work." I snapped at Matt.

"Great! I haven't hung out with your brother in a while. Let's go." Matt smiled, picking up his keys.

I'm so fucking irritated, I could scream. I honestly don't think any of Carlos's friends would do anything. I really don't. I glared at Matt and got into his car with him, ignoring his happy whistling he was doing.

When we got to the studio, Juan was rather surprised to see me. I rolled my eyes at him. All of them need to stop with acting like I'm this delicate butterfly. It's annoying. Then again, everything is annoying these past few days. I've been so bitchy, that I can hardly stand myself. That's probably why Brian said he had to help his dad out today. He couldn't wait to get away from me. Don't blame him.

"Uh huh. What are you doing, Chica? I said stay home." Juan told me.

"Well, I would love to go home. Except this giant assbag won't let me." I said, pointing at Matt.

"Terminal PMS. I understand." Matt smiled at a laughing Juan.

"Oh, I'm sorry, my dear sister. God forbid we just want you safe." Juan glared flipping me off.

"Whatever." I grumbled, looking through the mail.

"One day, my sister may even pull the stick out of her ass." Juan smiled at Matt.

I can feel all of my anger starting to reach its breaking point. I have no idea why I'm so angry, or even at who. All I know is, people need to stop testing me. It's getting old.

"I doubt it." Matt chuckled.

"Know what? I'm right fucking here. If you two fuck wads have something to say to me, say it." I seethed, getting surprised stares from both of them.

"Hey, ease up. We always joke around." Juan said cautiously.

"And I'm laughing so fucking hard. Can't you see?" I almost yelled.

Juan knows where this is leading and he is already prepared for it. Matt, on the other hand, is about to blindsided by my wrath that I'm about to unleash. Juan knows how I am, and knows what to expect. The worst part of all of this is, I can't control myself. I'm about to say shitty things and I can't stop it.

"Kia." Juan said calmly.

"No! Fuck you! Fuck everyone and everything! What, you want me to sit around so everyone can pity me? Well, sorry to disappoint everyone. I don't need anyone's pity. I don't need people feeling sorry for me. I don't get why the fuck everyone can't just leave me the fuck alone! Go back to your perfect fucking lives, and leave me alone. Got it? Go play house with your girlfriends, and pretend bad shit doesn't happen. That's what everyone can do!" I yelled.

Matt's eyes couldn't get any wider as he stares at me. Juan sighed and shook his head at me. My hands are shaking. I want this rage to stop, and it won't.

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