Karma is a kid [𝐌𝐇𝐀] {DISCONTINUED}

Chapter 16 : The Painful Recovery (part 1)

Warning: Implied sexual content (it's consensual, between adult characters, and there's nothing explicit at all), mention of dysphoria, blood, nightmares, A LOT of crying, mention of death and implied suicidal thoughts

I replayed every memory I had of you...
———

The warm light of the sun woke Atsuhiro up, he should have closed the curtains the night before. A sweet sent of old books tickled his nose, a candle gift he had made to Senjin a few days before. He felt warm, mostly thanks to the naked body pressed against his. Blood red hair hide the face of the one he loved. The said one shifted in his arms, lifted their hands and used all of his energy to open his eyes. Atsuhiro could finally see those gorgeous, hooded, chocolate brown eyes.

"Morning, love."
"M'ning." Senjin mumbled against his chest, as they rested their head against it.

They had not been able to spend much quality time together recently. Between Hai, their 'jobs', Karma, and basically anything that could go between them, they both were extremely busy. Luckily, they finally could have found some time, since Hai had decided to have a sleepover with Toga. It has been just a simple night to eat dinner together, talk, cuddles, and simply appreciate each other embrace and body. It had been one of the most beautiful nights in Atsuhiro's life.

"How did you sleep?" Senjin asked, not moving his head.
"Perfectly." Atsuhiro smiled to himself as he started stroking his partner's hair. "How about you, darling?" He swore he saw them blush at the nickname, despite the huge self control they had on their emotions and the fact that Atsuhiro called them that every single day — multiple times — they always got flustered when they were in private. It was adorable.
"Good." They simply answered.
"Did you have any nightmare?" Atsuhiro preferred to check, just to be sure and comfort Senjin if needed, they still had plenty of time to cuddle.
"The usual. I'm okay though." They mindlessly gripped him tighter.
"Alright. Remember that what happened is, and will never be, your fault, okay?"
"Okay..."

Senjin did not want to talk about it. With all the years they had shared together, Atsuhiro could read through their body language and undertones when they talked. They always had trouble talking about their feelings out loud.

They shifted again, moving their arms closer to their chest, then moving them once more to be on their front. He had always hated being naked for too long.

"Do you want to get dressed? I can lend you my shirt, it'll be more comfortable." Atsuhiro stroked his partner hair, "I love you" and gave him a small peck in it. "You're beautiful."
"I love you too." They mumbled and got up.

But... Something was wrong. Something was definitely wrong.

When Senjin sat, his front was completely covered with blood. What happened? They were just cuddling, what had gone wrong?

"Love..."

Atsuhiro tried to reach Senjin's hand with his own, but he just passed through it. He couldn't reach his partner, couldn't help him. They tried to open his mouth, to try to say something, yet, no sound went past his lips, only blood.

As Senjin completely disappeared, Atsuhiro woke up.

*

The room felt colder, the bed too. It was still the middle of the night, so there was no ray of sunlight, the sent of old books had disappeared, since Atsuhiro had not bordered lightening the candle in the last two days. The only scent left was undertones of Senjin's smell of tea and roses.

He took all of his energy to sat at the edge of the bed, he did not even want to look at the empty side of the bed. The dream — more like a nightmare — he just had, left a bittersweet taste in his mouth. Even if he just focused on the beginning of the said dream, just thinking about the fact that he would never ever cuddle Senjin again made him want to break down sobbing.