MADAM [UNEDITED]

••7••

"Oshodi, oshodi. Make una hold your change ooo, I no get change." The bus conductor shouted calling the name of the bus stop. Running out of Linda's house the first thing that came to my mind was to leave the island immediately. If I leave, it'd take some time before people would suspect me. I don't even have money right now, I'm just thinking of ways to enter the bus and get down safely without the conductor embarrassing me.

"Madam these your load too much ooo, you sure say e go enter the booth." The conductor said while spit flew out of his mouth in different places. Unfortunately few landed on my face. Taking a look at him he was the exact description of an agbero. White torn singlet with a worn out jean matched with an old looking canvas. Overall he looked like he needed a bath urgently, I don't blame him this is his only source of living since the government have decided to neglect the youths.

"Na your load wey I carry, las las if I no fit carry am for my leg I go put am for your booth. Abeg no disturb me, shey you dey see how hot the sun dey. My body dey pepper me ooo." I replied him, these conductors if you don't put them in their place they'd surely try and intimidate you. The fact that I'm highly exposed doesn't mean that I don't know my roots. "Madam I just dey talk my own because me I no want wahala ooo. Abeg when passenger come just adjust." He said while getting back to his job.

I heaved a sigh of relief when he finally left. Sitting down in the bus I replayed the words that Linda said to me 'I slept with your husband not once or twice and I did it over and over again with no regrets'. Tears threatened to spill out my eyes but I refused to let them out. What she said really hurt me, I never expected my best friend to betray me like this. She just showed her true colours to me, if only I could turn back the hands of time I would never have made her my friend or married Ovie.

"Madam your money." The conductor asked while outstretching his hand. I had no money to give him at all, how am I going to escape from this bus safely. I looked around and I saw we were on third mainland bridge and we were hit with serious traffic. There's no way I can come down here, this place is notorious for robbery. I have to do something fast or else I'm going to be disgraced in front of everybody here.

"Wait ooo you mean say you no get money and you get mind enter my bus con dey drag words with me. Oya if you no wan make I beat you comot here. Come down from my bus." He said while making way for me to get down. "But oga pity me na, I no fit stop for this bridge. You sef know this place no safe." I pleaded with him. "Na now you know say I be oga. Ogbeni bo le jare. Na me you wan use run street." He shouted already looking like he wanted to attack me. I know if he had the chance he would surely call his other goons to beat me up.

I looked around in the bus silently praying that one of the passenger would come to my rescue but none did. They keep saying the country is bad while they themselves don't want to stand up and make it better. I swallowed me pride, stood up and came down from the bus. As I struggled to bring down my bags one of them mistakenly hit a woman's baby who was strapped to her back. I immediately said sorry but it fell on deaf ears.

"Ahn ahn you wan kill my pikin nii, you no see say im dey small. You no get heart at all oo"she said while looking at me in disgust. Other passengers joined her to rain insults on me. I've never felt so unhappy in my life, it sincerely broke me some into pieces. How would I kill an innocent child when I recently lost my own to the hands of death. I couldn't stay there any longer and listen to them. I rushed immediately to rails of the bridge and looked down at the water.

I made my choice at that moment, I was ready to die if it stops this pain and suffering that I'm experiencing. I'm tired of all these things that are happening to me, I've lost everyone that means a lot to me. My own parents are gone even my child isn't here with me. Today's event broke the camel's back and I lost control, I'm a terrible person, I deserve to die. How can I possibly spill innocent blood, I can't believe I killed my friend even if she wasn't a good one but she's still a human being.