Infatuated with a God

Chapter Seventy-Eight

Shaking that thought out of my head slightly, I concentrated on the matter at hand. I looked to Thor, who had kept his head bowed. He was the happiest by far. Odin had bound him to Midgard until he was able to make amends, for Thor this was just proof of what he hoped was happening. He wanted his brother back, the person he remembered fighting by his side throughout his life. I hoped Thor could accept something in between. Loki would never truly be that person again, everything he did and was made to do would stay with him forever. Moreover, all that anger and jealousy that fuelled his actions remained. He hadn't healed entirely yet and wouldn't for a long time more. But this was the start of a journey, and I was sure Odin saw it that way. I told myself that Odin would know returning home would continue that journey for him. I reassured myself that this is what he needed. Still, Thor excitement was the reason we decided this morning that I would be the one to tell the team. We weren't sure exactly how everyone was going to take it. None of them particularly wanted him around to begin with, settling for putting him into a cage just because he couldn't return home. We talked them into letting him into a room, but people weren't exactly happy about it. Still, overtime he became more integrated. Well, as much as Loki could. He was still an outsider but helped train me and now Wanda, went on a mission with us. Thor and I had thought that over time he would become more an integral member of the team. It's what we hoped. All in all, we had no idea how everyone else would react to him leaving.

So I decided to just rip the band aid off.

"Loki has been given permission from Odin to return to Asgard." There was a natural lull in conversation, and I just blurted it out, not knowing what else to do. As we had called the meeting, people knew we would have something to share. But I don't think anyone expected this. I think they assumed it was something to do with me, with everything that had happened over the past two weeks. Shock settled across most people's faces, although Barton's resembled anger more than anything else. Soon anger seemed to take over Tony as well, which was to be expected. As much as he didn't want Loki here, he also took comfort in knowing he could keep an eye on him. Loki moving back to Asgard meant that he was out of his sight, and therefore would become a threat again. Regardless of Loki's intentions and ability to make his own decisions in 2012, Tony would always assume the worst.

"When?" Tony managed to get out somewhat civilly, although the bite of his anger lingered in his tone.

"He is to return at the end of the month, if he wishes." Thor answered. No one seemed to know what to say, least of all me. I was barely managing to maintain my emotionlessness. I craved the emptiness now. It seemed much more manageable than the weight of the sadness I was beginning to feel. Things kept happening around me now as the meeting continued. Tony was uncharacteristically quiet in his anger, but Barton was vocal enough for the both of them.

Before I knew it the meeting was over, and everyone was filtering out of the room. Soon only Thor, Loki, Tony, and I were left. Tony looked up at me, annoyance clear on his face but clearly trying to accept defeat. Realistically no one here wanted to go against the wishes of Odin, and I knew everyone felt more comfortable forgetting that Asgard even existed. Every time Thor was called away no one would ever try to argue with the will of Odin, even if they wanted him to stay.

"You trust that he's changed?"

"Yes, I do. I think you know that he has." I replied with little hesitation.

"Stark, you have my word that he will not fall back to his old ways. I will keep watch of him on Asgard." That was a surprise to me, and I turned to look at Thor now. Too many emotions washed over me, and I couldn't bare losing one of my closest friends on top of losing Loki.

"You won't be coming back?" I whispered, ignoring the way Loki looked to me. He looked just as hurt as I felt, but I couldn't care anymore. It was just too much to lose both of them.