Declaration||seongjoong

Eighteen

Just like they looked, San's lips were soft and moved slowly with Hongjoong's.

All of a sudden, San's touch was removed from him quickly followed by a grunt.

Hongjoong opened his eyes and became shocked when he saw the other on the floor cupping his jaw. The stench of alcohol filled
his nose as he looked over at Seonghwa. "What did you do that for?!" He yelled at the other.

Before Hongjoong could run over to San's aid, Seonghwa had already trapped him between his arms. "Get off me. He was helping me."

Seonghwa gripped Hongjoong's cheeks, "he's a doctor. Not someone for you to shove your tongue down their throat."

"He's your friend."

"Exactly!" Seonghwa voice rose. "And you're my husband!"

Hongjoong's forcefully removed Seonghwa's hand away from him. "It's a charade!"
He mimicked the older's tone. "You barely treat me like a person so why would I stay faithful to you?"

"But you should at least stay loyal to your friends." Seonghwa countered,
Causing Hongjoong's to raise his eyebrow. "Wooyoung. San has been seeing Wooyoung for weeks."

By now, San was propped against a cupboard, not bothered to have gotten up, knowing he couldn't fight the consequences of his own selfish actions. The gutted look on his face proved to Hongjoong's that what Seonghwa said was true.

San shoved his hands through his hair as he wobbled to his feet, then wiping the small splotch of blood on the corner of his lip. "I'm sorry."

"Leave. And sort yourself out San." Seonghwa demanded.

As his younger, San done as he was told; leaving the couple alone.

Seonghwa still had an inescapable hold on Hongjoong. Just staring into each other's eyes, once again, they found themselves doing that repeatedly, still trying to find something within the other but they always came up empty.

"Where did you go?" Hongjoong eventually spoke up. "You said you were there for me, but the minute you put me in that car earlier, you left. And now you show up here hours later, drunk." A tear brimmed in his eye. He was scared earlier, there was no way out. Somehow he knew Seonghwa was going to save him. He selfishly hoped so. He stupidly thought of him first. Hongjoong shoved Seonghwa away. "You said you were there! But you left. Why couldn't you be the one to patch up my injuries? Why couldn't you be the one that gently helped me?!"

He was so tired. Tired of this life. Tired of the danger. Tired of the neglect and denial.

"I'm not your babysitter, Hongjoong!" Seonghwa frustratingly replied.

"But you're my husband!"

"Fake." Seonghwa corrected. "You're lucky I even agreed to this whole agreement."

Hongjoong toughly wiped away the rogue tear, leaving patch of redness on his cheek. "You were saying that when you punched San in the face, for what? Kissing me? Because I know it wasn't to protect Wooyoung's feelings, you don't even know him!" A small chuckle slithered through his lips, "Were you jealous, Park Seonghwa?"

Liquid honestly ran through the older's blood, "do you know how it feels to watch your friend kiss the one you're married to?"

"Make up your fucking mind, Seonghwa! Am I your husband or not. One minute you hate the thought and the next you're demanding dominance over our marriage. Just tell me what you want!"

Seonghwa's mouth opened as if he were going to say something until his lips pressed together tightly in a conflicting line. A few seconds passed before he eventually spoke. "No matter how we feel. Our feelings don't matter in this arrangement. It can't happen." He couldn't even look at Hongjoong as he said those words.

Then he left.

⚜️

He was drunk. Very drunk. But it didn't stop Seonghwa's from straying to unwanted thoughts of Hongjoong. His smile. His ambition. His strength. His talent.
Seonghwa hated it.

This was not how things were supposed to go. Because now, he's hesitant; Park Seonghwa doesn't get reluctancy.

He lay splattered on the living room couch, the light from the tv danced over his face as he stared at the spinning ceiling. He was beginning to understand Hongjoong more, like why he detested this lifestyle so much, because it only causes pain. He felt that deeply in his heart. But there was no way out. Not now. It was too late to back out, even if he tried, Seonghwa was afraid of what Chanyeol might do.

"Hey." He heard, Suddenly breaking him from thought.

It was a sleepy Hongjoong. What time was it, Seonghwa thought.

"Why are you still up? It's 3am." That was the answer to his silent question.

"I could ask you the same thing." There was an awkward tension in the air. Like they'd both become more aware of each other.

Hongjoong shrugged as he planted himself at the end of the sofa near Seonghwa's feet. "Couldn't sleep." He look at the older. "Same?"

Seonghwa nodded while sitting up. He didn't know what to say. "I make a banging hot chocolate. Want one?"

There was a reluctant look on Hongjoong's face before he replaced it with a smile and a cute nod. "Sure."

Hongjoong followed Seonghwa into the kitchen, taking a seat on a counter seat while
Seonghwa booked the stove and got the hot chocolate out of the cupboard and the milk out of the fridge.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" Hongjoong asked.

Without straying his attention from his task, in which he was really trying to concentrate on without wobbling, he replied with an accepting hum.

"Do you have a mother?"

Seonghwa stilled as he poured the hot chocolate into two mugs before gently settling it down and turning around slowly to hand one to Hongjoong.  

Hongjoong lowered his head shyly. "Sorry. Was that insensitive? I shouldn't have asked."

Seonghwa sighed. "No. It's okay." He took a slow sip of the warm beverage. "I do. She's just not really around much."

Hongjoong nodded slowly in sympathy, feeling stupid for asking.

"I don't think I've even heard of your mother. Can I ask?" Seonghwa proceeded.

"Dead."

A simple word that filled Seonghwa with grief and understanding in his own way. Just the way Hongjoong said it so quickly and emotionlessly, he began to wonder. Hongjoong killed his own brother, could he go as far murder his mother too? "What happened?"

The younger was silent for a few seconds. He settled down his his hot chocolate and looked up at Seonghwa. "You're desperate." He simply stated knowingly.

Seonghwa was confused. "What?"

"You want to know what I did. Am I right?"
His voice portrayed tiredness, not physical exhaust but emotional and mental.

Without giving away his curiosity too much, he replied with a shrug, "I guess you could say it's left me intrigued."

"I single-handedly killed the big three."