I'm sad. All I am, all I'll ever be. Sad. Thinking, after two years, the loss of my husband, I would've thought, had just become a distant memory. This wasn't the case. I still dream of the day the medics were holding me back as they took the love of my life away. Well, the love of my life, I don't know anymore. I'm CONSTANTLY reminded of him. It hurts everytime I go to the studio. Everytime I see the clothes he had worn, in my closet, who cares if I'm still attached, WHO WOULDN'T BE?! Vegard still gets mad that I still wear my wedding ring. Yet, even Vegard, still reminds me of Calle, the lost soul that was attached to mine at one time. We never even started a family. We had never gotten to, and I don't want to start a family. Not with Vegard, or anyone. IT'S BEEN TWO GOD DAMNED YEARS AND IT STILL HURTS. Some nights, I never sleep, others I cry until no more tears would come out. They want me to see a doctor. I don't want to. I'm completely fine. Expect for, OH right, my love being torn away from me in an angry jealous rage, the one whomed I loved. I know I did wrong behind him, but the love between me and him could never compare to the feelings of once Bård nor Vegard.
There's a knock at the door, ripping me away from my deep concentration. I slowly get up and leave my room headed to the foyer. I opened the door and smiled real big as Matt and Demetry walked in with a child who was about 4 or 5 years of age.
"Hey cutie!" Matt said, I smiled and hugged the both of them. I bent down infront of the adorable little boy with big blue eyes and blond hair. He reminded me of Calle, he had a cute little pointy nose. I kept observing his features.
"His name is Tomas. We adopted him last May. Tomas say hi to Samanthia."
Tomas waved to me and said hi. He was so cute, he made me re-think my desicion. I wanted a child.
"How old are you Tomas?" I asked him. He held up 5 fingers. I smiled at him and stood up.
"Make yourselves at home." I said closing the door. Demetry picked Tomas up and they sat on the couch.
"So how's everything? How's the house?" I started asking them 20 questions. They laughed and we sat and just talked.
About 40 minutes later Vegard walked in.
"Hun, I'm home!" He said taking off his jacket. "Oh Hey Matt! Hey Demetry! Who's this little guy?" I gives me a peck on the cheek and kneels down infront of Tomas.
"This is Tomas, our son." Matt said.
"He's so precious!" Vegard said standing back up. "I'm gonna go change, I'll be right back."
I stretch and look over at the clock, 6:38PM.
"So do you guys want to go out to eat?" I ask them. Matt looks at his watch,
"Actually we should be going, house chores."
"Oh." I say, "Well okay, I'll show you guys out."
~~~~~~~~~
"Where did they go?" Vegard asks coming down the stairs in a pair of sweatpants and a grey shirt.
"They had house chores, they said, I don't know." I fiddle with my thumbs while sitting on the couch with my legs crissed crossed. Vegard sits next to me and takes my chin and makes me look into those big brown eyes.
"Hey, it's okay, do you want something? Want me to make some popcorn and put in a movie?" He asks.
I nod my head and kiss him.
"I'm going to get comfortable, I'll be right back." I say getting up and starting up the stairs.
"What movie?" He asks. I smile,
"Ella Enchanted."
I open the bedroom door and start taking off my clothes. I grab a pair of black sweatpants and a long sleeved shirt, and put them on. I go and take my makeup off and put my hair in a ponytail. I go back into the bedroom and grab some socks, it was going to get really cold tonight. I grabbed a blanket, I pause and close my eyes.
"Calle,..." I sigh, "I love you." I go back downstairs and the smell of popcorn fills my nostrils.
•••••••••••••••
Calle's P.O.V
•••••••••••••••
"Calle,..." I hear her beautiful voice, I see her in the bedroom. "I love you." She whispers. I tear falls from my eye.
"I love you too." I say out loud.
"Daddy!" Astri yells coming into my bedroom.
"Daddy...are you crying?" I wipe my tears away.
"Ah, I'm fine, love." I turn around and pick her up taking her downstairs.
"What do you want for dinner?" I ask. She smiles real big.
"I want a meatball sub Daddy!"
I smile and sit her on the couch.
"Of course." I turn on the TV to occupy her while I make dinner. I go to the kitchen and put some meatballs in the microwave. I went to the pantry and grabbed a can of spaghetti sauce and pulled out a pot and began cooking the sauce. I sigh as more thoughts of Samanthia ran through my head. I missed her kisses. I missed the way she smiled. I fixed Astri's plate and brought it to her.
"Thank you." She said.
"You're welcome, what are you watching?" I asked.
"Oh, Ella Enchanted." She tried taking a bite of her sandwich and a meatball fell out of the bun, back onto the plate. I smiled and went into the kitchen and got her a fork and a napkin.
"Here you go." I said. She smiled and I looked at the TV.
'Samanthia's favorite movie.' I thought to myself. I look up and smile.
Oh God how I miss her.
