Confessions Of An Overthinker

1. Love is blind

Title:
If fool was a person it definately be me.

I left work early. Wanting to surprise him. He was sick. Cuts and bruises everywhere. His entire leg was broken and had to be in a case up to his groin. I really felt it for him but my emotions were a roller coaster.

I opened the grill and got in. I bought his favorite food. Well I had prepared food that morning for him as he couldn't go to the kitchen due to.the severity of his leg.

I approached the room that was closest to the varendar. I didn't hear him talking on the phone and I didn't hear his computer on. Maybe he went to the bathroom I thought.

The house was awfully quiet. I entered the room and he wasn't there. Hmmm. I went to the bathroom to make sure he was taking a number 2. Where the hell could he be? The kitchen ofcourse. I face palmed. I slowly walked towards the kitchen and pushed the door opened. Ahhh....he wasn't there either. My mind was going in overdrive. He could only be one place. Thinking about it hurted my entire being. I hated overthinking and being correct when I did. My mind concocted many different scenarios. I still had my handbag on. I pulled out my phone and rang his. Putting the food I bought on the kitchen counter.

I wish the person who invented the ringtone would just remove it and have the call connected. Like why did it have to ring 3-4 times before being connected?!

This was the 7th call. My God what did I do to deserved this huh?! Please removed me from this situation. The saying goes God helped those who helped themselves. What must I do? I needed divine intervention.

14th ring. My heart. I drank a glass of tapped water. I was breathing irregularly.

Monica stop calling him. Obviously you aren't a priority! Where ever he was he was much happier and didn't want to talk to you.

"Hey, what's up?" Wow. She answered his phone.

"Hey what is he doing?! I have been calling forever and he didn't answer"

"Oh he's shaving the hair down low..." She announced.

My God. I can't do this.

"It seems like he is done, amma put his on the phone" rustling was heard.

"Whats up?"

"Serious-fucking-ly! You have on a case up to your grion and you found the time to leave and go to her home to shave your crotch?!"

"Hey I'll be there soon" He added nonchalantly.

"No don't come, you can stay! That is where you are happy so kindly stay there and remove me from your life okay cause an sick and tired of this! I will not share you so if you wanna choose her that's fine by me!"

I said almost next to tears. I loved this man. I was head over heels blindly and passionately lost in love.

"Stop behaving like that, you know an not doing anything" He send in an assertive voice.

"Really?! I know that?! How the fuck would I know that?! You didn't know that you crotch wanted shaving when you were here? Matter a fact bring the shear that we bought!" I ordered without much authority.

"Thats the issue with you, you make a big deal out of things that isn't there..." Oh my. I digested what he said.

"She said that she is holding on to it as something to remember me by"

"Why the fuck she want to remember you when you aren't leaving her huh?!" Are you going to break up with her?" Silence was his response.

"Shawn we bought the shear together! What do you mean she is holding on to it huh?! You know what? Forget it...."

"Hey babes do you want burger?" I heard the question she asked.

"Yes sure, double whopper" He responded, not only to the question but to the word babe.

"Get off my damn phone, you have no manners and respect!" I hung up. I ran towards the room and started crying.

"God what did I do?!!!! Please tell me! I cant do this anymore, help me Jesus. PLEASE" I begged looking towards heaven.

Did he not see how I was breaking? I was sick and tired. He found someone, why did I find it so hard to leave? I had invested 6 long years of my life into the relationship. I always told him 7 years was the breaking point as that was the length of his last relationship and he broke me before the 7 year mark.

I once thought if we got pass 7 years we could get through anything but I couldn't. The one thing I asked him not to do to me he did. He took me for a fool and like the fool I was I stayed and the longer I stayed the more he broke me.

My longest relationship before him was was 9 months. It hurt leaving but I knew I had to and guess what? I didn't have any concrete evidence but now I had all the pieces to the puzzle and I wore the word fool well.

If fool was a person, it would definitely be me.

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