My Knight

Chapter 43

Silence surrounds us for the better part of an hour... or two. I'm not really sure how much time has passed, all I know is it's dark now. Digger... is a God send, knew exactly what I needed. The long, fast drive through winding back roads was soothing. Now we're facing backwards on his bike, me leaning into his chest just... existing. Who knew this was what was needed?

His thumb smooths over my stomach, the warmth from skin to skin contact keeps me grounded to him. The pain in my chest blossoms to a scorching warmth that sears what's left of my walls. I don't realize the tears that fall down my cheeks, I don't care to stop them. It hurts. A gentle squeeze from Digger's hand makes my eyes pinch and a shaky breath leave my trembling lips. It only takes a gentle kiss from his warm lips to break the silence as a hiccup leaves my form, shaking my lungs.

It hurts so damn much. "Let it out Little Lady... you'll feel better." He murmurs softly, rubbing my side soothingly as the damn shatters, washing away the last of my reserve to be strong.

"Why? Why..." I stutter pathetically, my stomach churning as it all settles, the weight of his death finally cracks my world. There's so much to do... I don't... I can't do this alone.

"I know baby, it hurts." Digger soothes gently, I shake my head pitifully, trying to reign my emotions in, to collect them in a tight box again, just to hide it all. I'm not ready to face it, I can't.

"Damn it." I curse as I sit up, rubbing my face, a vain attempt to scrub away my tears, my emotions. No, I don't want to cry... I need to be a Marine. Digger sits up with me, not letting me get away, to hide.

"Baby, let it out, you need to." He murmurs as he pulls me to his chest, kissing my cheek. I have to shake my head, gritting my teeth angrily.

"No..." I struggle to breath, to regain control of my body. The out of body feeling starts to overwhelm me, the pain of it all, culminating into a pit of despair. Digger is silent, his hand a gentle motion of encouragement, a soft push at the crumbling walls of my emotions.

"Little Lady... it's ok, I'm here for you." He murmurs once more an attempt to sooth the fraying nerves of my being.

"I can't... I can't let her win." Today only strengthened my resolve, I've known her true colors were dark; but this... is blacker than the devil's soul.

"She won't win, you aren't alone." I close my eyes and fight the emptiness that I've been surrounded with these past few days. The house has never felt so cold and heartless, like the hearts been ripped out forever. It doesn't belong to a family anymore.

"Papa's gone." It's a painful whisper I hate to murmur, to let slip from my lips feels like an ultimate betrayal. Like saying those dreadful words aloud makes it real, forces me out of my burrow of ignorance. Digger doesn't say anything, more than aware of recent events. Time elapses even as his hand continues it's gentle and soothing gesture. My mind circles his words, time and time again, forced back to it. I don't want to be alone. "Move in with me?"

His hands stops for a moment, nearly freezing for an instance before it continues on it's path. "Move in with you? Are you sure?" He asks as he rests his chin on my head. Completely sure.

"The house is too... cold with just me." I murmur quietly as I stare into the night. "Besides, I know Papa signed his portion of the business to you." It was shocking to say the least that Digger owned part of... everything. Granted Papa was smart to have our lawyer write up a contract with clauses to nearly every event plausible, not to mention he split his shares with Ryan, another insurance policy. Was I seriously the only one who didn't know Papa was dying? The question ignites a deep, sharp spark of pain right to my heart once more.