Come Back To Me - ✓

26 - Baby

"Explain what? The reason you were not there? There's no need, is there? I mean, in my mind there's no excuse for that. One thing is to separate, to get a divorce..." I pause for a few seconds, trying  - and failing - to get a grip on my emotions. "Another, completely different is to abandon me and leave me to pick up the pieces of two lives you destroyed." 

"I wasn't happy, I-"

"Oh, that's rich," I cut him off, laughing bitterly. "So you went off on a chase for the sunset. You went after your happiness at the expense of mine?" 

"What? No! Luna, I didn't love your mom for a long while before when you were born!" He bellows, causing me to stop on spot. "She got pregnant and tied me down to her, I had this traditional ideal of a family so I stuck by her side, by YOUR side. I tried my best to give you the family you deserve, but she has always been so obsessed, evil and manipulative. A person can only take so much!"

Tell me about it.

My eyes sting with unshed tears but I keep them in. I will not cry, not in front of him.

Up until his departure, I have nothing but good memories of the three of us.

Sure, my parents never held hands outside and I never saw my dad kiss my mom in the mouth but I thought... We were all happy.

"I am not proud, but I fell in love and I did cheat. When you found out I was as ashamed as I was relieved. With your temper and how strong-minded you are, I knew you would never let her accept me back. It was my way out but I wanted to take you with me, even though you hated me." 

I take a step back.

He's lying. He has to be lying...

"Take me with you?" I scoff. "If you wanted me so much why the fuck did you leave me behind?" 

"Besides thinking you wouldn't come with me?" He sighs.

He does have a point. In my mind, he was  - and still is - the reason for destroying a family. I couldn't forgive him and I wouldn't go with him. 

But if that had happened now I would only have myself to blame, not him.

Still, I wasn't taken into account in a decision that could have made my life for the better. I was still forced to take on responsibilities a teenager shouldn't and deal with the consequences of his departure.

He didn't look back nor reach out to me.

 "I know you won't believe me on this, your mom was always able to maintain that persona of a caring mom in your presence but..."

At least he nailed it on the time tense. Was.

Still, I don't say a word and let the heavy silence settle between us until he decides to speak again.

"She wasn't. She was manipulative and always used you against me. That night I left, it was hell. She tried everything she could to make me stay, threatening to get me arrested for Domestic Violence. She used you, telling me how I wouldn't see you again and I guess she was right at some point, she never let me see you after that... At some point, I gave up and gave in to her threats... The fact that you hated me and never wanted me to see me helped. I didn't know what else to do." His head bows in shame.

He's lying. This cannot be true. 

My mom was always a good mom, up until he left...

I don't...

I can't...

"Luna?" I hear someone call but I can no longer see properly.

My airways are closing down on me and everything is turning blurry and dark. My body gives up but I can't feel anything if I am standing or not if I am cold or not.