(Unedited)
"You weren't here! You haven't been in a long time so stop trying to act like you were."
Willow grew up in a house with six brothers, one of them being her twin. She's grown up in a two bedroom apartment with an alcoholic mother who never...
"I have three moods: I don't know, i don't care, i don't give a fuck."
...
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Skyla had made her decision, choosing to get to know her older brothers.
Willow didn't know how to feel. She was happy for her little sister, of course she was, this was something the little girl has always dreamt of and is finally getting. But still, there was a small part of her that couldn't help to feel disappointed in Skyla's choice, as now she would be forced into the presence of her older brothers.
She was conflicted. Many different emotions were flowing through her as she laid in her bed unable to sleep. She felt angry that her so called brothers were forcing themselves into her life, using her little sister to do it. She was sad, due to all the good memories she shared with the men who hurt her so bad, and because now that was all she could see whenever she looked at them- all the pain they caused her and the people she cares about. She was confused, why would they wait until now to return? Did they have other motives? But most of all, she was scared. Scared to let them in again, scared they would leave her again, scared they would hurt Skyla as much as they have hurt her.
Willow was dreading the moment she would have to face her brothers. How she was going to have to spend the day with them, being civil, making small talk, acting as if nothing had ever happened, like they hadn't done anything wrong, as if they didn't abandon their family. It was making her sick to her stomach. The simple thought of the time she would have to spend with them was almost enough to make her run, to sneak away before everyone had woken up, hoping that she could get far enough away before anyone could so much as notice her absence. That way she could escape facing the people she hated most.
But she couldn't bring herself to do it. Her little sister was counting on her, and she had made a promise to Skyla, one she wasn't planning on ever breaking.
Skyla had just made her decision, telling the twins that she would like to meet their brothers, but almost immediately afterwards, upon seeing the disappointment in her big sisters eyes, she backtracked telling the older girl she had changed her mind, not wanting to upset her.
Willow tried to hide how she felt, not wanting to get in the way of Skyla's happiness. If this is what the little girl chose, she wanted to support her, but Skyla could tell she wasn't okay with her choice.
"Sky, listen to me." Willow starts, placing the girl onto her lap as she takes her face in her hands. "This is your choice, yours and only yours. And i don't want you to make it based on how i, or anyone else feels. If you want to meet them, then you can. If you want to build a relationship with them, then you can. It's up to you, no matter what you choose to do here we're going go support you. Okay?"
Skyla nods. "Will you be there with me?"
"Of course. I'll never leave you, and i will always be here for you no matter what."
"Promise?" Skyla asks holding her pinky up to her big sister.
Willow smiles interlocking their pinkies as she places a soft kiss on her little sisters forehead. "I promise."
With her mind running a mile a minute, Willow let's out a sigh knowing that no matter how much she was dreading the situation she was about to find herself in, there was nothing she could do to stop it, because no matter what, despite her own feelings and thoughts, her sister was her first priority. Skyla's happiness mattered more than anything, more than the past, more than the fear of history repeating itself, more than Willow herself.
Hearing Skyla's excited shouts beginning to echo throughout the apartment, Willow pushes her thoughts away and shakes her head letting out an amused chuckle at the sound of Cameron's complaints, meaning Skyla has woken him up.
A moment later Skyla bursts through the twins bedroom door, dragging a half asleep Cam along with her. Willow plasters a large smile on her face as she opens her arms for her sister who wastes no time in launching herself into them, squishing her smaller form in between Willow and Sasha.
"G'morning!" She beams cuddling into the two girls arms.
"Morning." They reply, each placing a kiss on her cheek. "Why are you up so early?" Willow asks getting a shrug in return.
Skyla wiggles out of the two girl's embrace as she stands, making her way onto Wes' bed where he lays still asleep. "Wake up! Wake up!" She shouts jumping on the bed beside her big brother.
Cameron groans moving off the end of Wes' bed and moving to Willow's, still trying to get back to sleep. Willow scoots higher up the bed to give Cameron more room and reaches for her phone checking the time to see it is only 6am and they still had hours until the others would arrive.
"Skyla." Wes grumbles looking up at the girl.
"Wessy." She mocks continuing to bounce around him. Having enough the boy sits up and grabs her, pulling her down beside him while he forces her to cuddle, ignoring the loud squeals of protest coming from her.
"She sounds like a freakin' bird." Sasha mumbles tiredly as she turns over, snuggling into Willow's blanket since Cameron had stolen her own.
Willow laughs, nodding in agreement while crawling out of the bed. "Sky, you gotta be quiet so Tyler doesn't wake up." She warns.
"Sorry." Skyla says through a huff, settling down beside Wes as Willow leaves the room.
Closing the bathroom door and locking it, Willow leans against the wood, letting her head fall back softly. Taking a deep breath she moves forward, leaning against the sink while looking at her tired eyes through the mirror. In all honesty the sight in front of her made her want to cry. Her usually tan skin was pale and a light layer of sweat glistened on her forehead, the bags under her eyes looked to be getting darker everyday since her brothers returned, her long brown hair that she used to love so much was matted and was getting thinner, her eyes seemed to have dimmed and her cheeks have sunken in.
She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes as her vision blurred. She never wanted to see herself look like this again, yet here she was about to have a breakdown because she let herself get bad again.
Reaching up she runs a hand through her hair as a way to soothe and comfort herself, only to stop when she feels a few strands get stuck between her fingers making her pull away. She looks down to see the same strands clutched in her hand and she reaches over to drop the brown locks into the trash, making her feel worse than she already did. Willow turns back to look at her reflection and only one word comes to her mind. Broken.
Willow DeLaCruz was broken and she didn't know how to fix herself, or even if she could be fixed. Maybe she was beyond repair, too damaged to be saved, already too far gone for help. And to her there was only one thing she could do, act as if nothing was wrong. She was going to put on a mask to hide all her problems so everyone could believe she was ok.
And maybe, just maybe, if she did it long enough she would think she was ok too.
