Bluebell Review Chamber [CLOSED]

જ Music In Midsummer જ ☾ Raaina☽

Book: MUSIC IN MIDSUMMER

AUTHOR: MiissLacybee

REVIEWER: 08_Umm_Waraqah

       TITLE/COVER: 4.5/5

Your cover is actually beautiful. Really. The fonts are cool and legible. But then, here I am wondering if, based on this cover alone, I'd pick this book out of the million others on Wattpad. And I think the answer is no. Not a resounding no, though. More like an uncertain no. Romance is a very popular genre on Wattpad. I haven't come across much historical romance here, but the ones I have, I'm not sure your cover would be able to compete well with them. So I suggest that you change it. It's good as it is for now, but it could be really better. Like really better. And I know what I'm saying, as historical romance happens to be one of my favourite genres and I've read more than my fair share of it. I have no problem whatsoever with your title. It's unique, alluring, and gives off a romantic vibe. So kudos there.

BLURB: 4/5

First of all, lemme get this out of the way, your blurb made me smile. Perhaps, it's the characters' names: Katherine Winslow, Thomas. Or the sweet simple way you've weaved your words together. Or the fact that it's been a few weeks since I read a historical romance. That said, you truly have an exquisite, almost perfect blurb. The only problem, which is teeny-weeny, I have with it is the last line. It just seems disjointed from the rest of the blurb. Not the true love part, but the jealousy part. Why? You didn't mention anything about jealousy until that last part so it's kinda... jarring. I think it'll be better if her world of jealousy was replaced with something about Thomas's mysteriousness. Or better still, because mysterious love interests are a well-worn trope, give us a hint about the jealousy thingy before dumping it on using that last line.All in all, you've got yourself a good blurb. Short, cute, and intriguing. It's just that last line, that last line. Even the love thing, it's odd how Katherine goes from wanting to discover the truth about Thomas's past, to you asking if she'll ever find true love. There's something missing. If you could try to connect Katherine's search for the truth to her romantic interest in Thomas (I hope), then to her search for true love.

CHAPTER ONE. 12/12.5
Boy is Katherine dramatic!

This is my first time actually reading historical fiction on Wattpad (I've had a glimpse at a few first chapters of books in the genre, but never got past a few paragraphs), and this is my first time enjoying the read. An absolute mag first chapter yours is. Funny, captivating, and funny. The best feature of this chapter would be how you plunged us right into Katherine's head, used her incredibly dramatic voice to guide us through the scenes, and matched that voice with appropriate actions. The descriptions are exquisite. Why? I love how they're simple and scattered throughout the chapter. I've never liked reading chunks of descriptions as they're really hard for me to follow, and this is probably the first time, again, on and off Wattpad, that I've read descriptions like yours. So, great job there. I couldn't find a single grammatical error or punctuation error. And I checked, trust me. Therefore, this is the first time, again, I won't have a grammar and punctuation section in my review. I did find one thing, though, not really an error, more like a confusing sentence.Original: I stumbled and she caught me, giggling as my dress wound itself around my ankles.Now that I read it again, I think you meant Amelia is the one giggling. At first, I couldn't tell who. To avoid confusing your readers, though it seems like a minor thing, you may want to restructure that sentence. That will also take me to another... observation I have. You tend to structure your sentences the way you did that one above. Now, it's not really a problem, as it's a matter of writing style. You only have to make sure it's not done too much, so readers like me who do not like that style won't scram and your writing doesn't become monotonous.

CHAPTER TWO. 11/12.5Boy is Lord Thomas arrogant!

This chapter is as good as the first one. Not as funny, but not a problem. I like how the characters are slowly introduced and subtly described. I can tell Thomas is arrogant without you having to tell me that. I can't tell Thomas the captain is shy, and perhaps socially awkward. However, Katherine's switch from a giggly, clumsy, somewhat shy teenager in the first chapter to a kinda confident teenager in this chapter is a bit jarring. It's most probably not a problem, as we all have layers to our characters. Your word choice is amazing, and your grammar is still impeccable, but not flawless. I found... should I say spelling error?

Original: ... and casting scandalized LOOKED in my direction.Fixed: ... and casting scandalized LOOKS in my direction. Original: ... tapping his fingers IN his laps.Fixed: ... tapping his fingers ON his laps.

You probably have come across the writing tip that warns writers to stay as far away from adverbs as they can. Now, adverbs are nice and cool and okay when they're only used once in a while, and, I also think, when the more common ones are used. I don't think anyone would raise a brow when they come across 'quickly' in a book. But when you have adverbs like 'confusedly', as you do in this chapter, it does cause a few brows to knit. So, rather than 'blinking confusedly', why not use something else.

'He blinked' or 'blinking' would have sufficed in this context. I'm really supposed to call you out on your use of en dashes where em dashes would have been appropriate, but I know that's a Wattpad problem, so I won't say anything on that. I'll advise you to keep the dashes to a minimum though and use other punctuation marks in place of them when you can.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT: 4.5/5

Katherine is dramatic, funny, and kind of confident. She's a tad ruthless, not in an evil way, though (I got this from how she kept pushing Thomas the Captain to talk when it was clear he was finding it difficult to). She seems to have a problem saying no (she didn't want to dance with Thomas the Arrogant, but she told him she'd be happy to), which kinda contradicts her...more open behaviour with Thomas the Captain. Well, I guess that's because she can see Thomas the Captain is shy and is more comfortable around him because of that. I haven't found anything that indicates a deeper or darker side to Katherine, yet. And that's not a problem. Characters don't have to have a dark side to be well developed.

PLOT: 4/5

I've read loads of regency romance, so I know this storyline, at least from the two chapters I read, isn't all that unique. But you have such an amazing cast of characters and you've been true to them so far, and that could give you an edge over the other books in this genre, at least on Wattpad. Perhaps, there's more to your story, in terms of plotting and all that, but I can't see it yet.

                                                        OVERALL ENJOYMENT: 4.9/5
I guess the score speaks for itself.

MissLacybee your overall score is 44.9/50. Congratulations.

Thanks for choosing me as your reviewer, and I hope you're satisfied with my review. Whether or not you are, so please, leave honest feedback in the comment section (tag me so I can see it). I'd be happy to hear from you.

Yours in Writing,Raaina Akorede Aranmolate.