It Wasn't Supposed To Happen

22

Aniruddh had held on to that answer since the day he decided to not get engaged to Saudamini and bring Bondita back. He just didn't say it out loud for the reasons he had listed out to her tonight. But it was time she knew.

" You are my wife Bondita." He said with his whole heart in it. " In every way there is to be. And I am your husband. I know you must now hate me as I made a foolish, foolish decision and brought another wife, it was all just a show. The is only one girl I have ever considered to be my wife is you Bondita. The only one I trust, care for, think of, worry for...the one I can die for...is you. For the one I once left behind my childhood love, left behind yet another attempt my foolish heart made at romance in the name of love at first sight. And I can give up a life time of such meaningless attractions and story book love, again and again to be with you..."

Aniruddh's eyes held so much love for her that she somehow could feel his pain. She knew it was not the kind of love they had discussed. No...it was much stronger than that, higher, much more pure than the ones he said he had for the other women he just listed. Yes he did something she didn't know if she should forgive him for or not but she felt how sorry he was. How guilt ridden he was, how broken, how lost, how demeaning in his own eyes he looked.

And all he was asking for her was to stop blaming herself. He was not asking for forgiveness at this point, just the well being of her heart by baring his own.
How could she hate him ?
Any other man instead of him and she would have never looked at his face again but him...? It was her pati babu... He did everything he did just because he was trying to protect her.

" You are the only woman for me Bondita. Because you are my wife. Society tells us that we are not complete yet..." He had a ghost of a smile on his lips. " But you...you complete me Bondita. Yes I agree there is a part of our marriage we are not living but compared to what we have, it is insignificant. No matter what they all say...we are a married couple in all the sense they can't comprehend. And I would like to keep playing my role regardless of what decision you take. Hate me, leave me, be angry with me...I will always your husband with all my heart."

No.
No... Bondita didn't hate him. Even after knowing everything, she didn't hate him. And she too, always, always wanted to be his wife. But all that he said, did it mean they will never need to fill the gap that was in their marriage, even if she grew up ? Bondita could not help but think.
But it was a topic for another time

" Pati babu..."

Aniruddh was not meeting her eyes.

" Pati babu..." Still nothing.
" Pati babu...?" She whispered pulling his face up by putting a finger under her chin.

" If I had made a mistake, something unforgivable... would you hate me...?"

There was no one thing that Bondita could do that would make Aniruddh leave her side. He could be angry at her, disappointed, he could punish her but he could never hate her, could never leave her side.

" I am your husband Bondita. I can never leave your side." His voice cracked. He knew why she was asking this. " B...but Bondita...you don't have to bind yourself to the notion of our marriage if you don't feel like it. If...if you feel that you should hate me...hate me, punish me... Bondita..." He said, now crying.

" Was I the only one who suffered pati babu...? Did you not cry when I was in pain ? Did it not hurt you when you saw people trying to get to me...Tell me...were you... even for an instant... happy...?

" No...no...I was not. But I deserved it. Deserved it to break your trust, to fall for another woman, to make you cry..."

" And from where I see it, I see a man a man who saved a girl he didn't even know from getting burned alive leaving behind a woman he loved. I see a man fighting the world so that the girl gets to run her mouth like it was nobody's buisness..." She gave a sorrow full chukle, her tears disappearing under her chin " Who refused to marry again because he didn't want his wife to take a second place to anyone, who taught her to read, write and spread her wings...who gave up once again his love, though I do know now he was wrong, and most importantly...he decided to break his principles...the once that made him who he was...and humiliated himself in his own eyes so that his foolish little wife could learn a lesson."