Sinner for the Devil | l.s.

14

"So if I understand this right. You two had been hooking up almost since you met at his club?" he kept placing his fingers underneath his chin, looking somewhere on the wall in front of him.

"Okay, continue. What things had he done to you?" Niall turned towards me.
"He-" I wanted to scream it all out but I couldn't.
"Didn't do anything." I shook my head simply.
"Harry." Niall came closer, grabbing me by my shoulders.
"You can tell me." he smiled sadly.

"You know." I took a deep breath before continuing.
"The reason why I am not going to the gym anymore is not because of the environment." I replayed that memory in my head.
"He, ehm." It was so hard to say it out loud!
"He just made me give him a blow job." I looked back at Niall.
"What do you mean by 'made me'?" I was almost blind thanks to all those tears occupying my eyes.

"He just came and did that." I know I wanted it at first. That's why that thing happend to me, because I wanted it. There was no way back afterwards.
"Did you want to?" he licked his lip, his eyes fixed on my face.
"What?"

"Did you want that too?" I sniffled while letting my tears fall down, thinking of an answer.
"Yes but then no." Niall moved closer towards me when I began to sob too loudly, wrapping his arms around me once again.

"I wanted to stop it, I tried to stop it."
"Shhh, it's okay. Shhh." Niall handed me a tissue while pulling away.
"Harry, you know that is rape, right?"
"I- he wouldn't do it again." I didn't know where those words were coming from.
"What?"
"He wouldn't do it again to me." I shook my head to protect- Who? Him? Me?
"You couldn't even talk afterwards." Niall stated with hurt look in his eyes.
"The other stays was he- was he rough or-?"
"No, yes, but I liked it. Don't talk about it please." I massaged my forehead.
"Okay, okay."

"He was the one who hurt you that night, am I right?" Niall asked like a 97th question.
"No." I shook my head.
"Then?"
"It was me. I got into a fight with some drunk guy. I told you." I shrugged.
"Harry?" he arched his brow at me.
"That's what happened." I stated, hoping he couldn't see right through me. I will never talk about that with anyone, not even Niall.

•••
Niall kept looking after me like I was a toddler ever since I told him the truth. I didn't need that, I was in fact becoming annoyed by it.

"I'll pick you up, we will go out tonight." Niall said from the other side of the phone.
"You don't-" I wanted to say he didn't have to but-
"Our flat, eight o'clock." he hung up before I could even say anything.

"Gentlemen, here is your table." the waiter sat us down.
I was examining the things on the menu but I still couldn't overlook one thing.
Niall was weird. He kept looking somewhere behind me and I really wanted to know why so I turned-

He stopped me by grabbing my shoulder.

"Hey Harry, look they have chocolate with ice."
"What the hell are you talking about?" I turned around and my heart almost stopped.

I saw Tomlinson sitting at the table in the corner of the restaurant with someone, enjoying some wine.

He replaced me quickly I must confess.
But honestly Harry what were you even expecting? He never even took me for a drink.

"Hey, just don't look at him. Forget him, yeah?" I turned back to Niall.
"Yeah, that's so easy to do." I took the menu, reading it furiously.
"Harry, he is a fucking dick. You deserve better."
"I-" I put my face in my hands.
I just wanted to leave the restaurant now, alone.
I was mad because of that dickhead and annoyed by Niall who kept constantly talking. It was too much.

"Anything to drink?" the waiter saved me somehow.
"Yeah, we will have some red wine." I just nodded to Niall's order.
My head was filled with so much anger right now.
When the waiter left I was ready to rip the menu in two halves.

"Harry, Harry!" Niall slapped his fingers to get my attention.
"Mhm?" I looked up to meet his eyes.
"What will you get?"
"The arugula salad. Order it for me? I need to use the restroom." I got up, leaving the place as quickly as I could.

I wanted to break something to take out my anger but unfortunately the only thing that was there was a mirror.

"Harry, what do we do when we feel angry?" my mother was sitting behind the old, Victorian table while enjoying her cigarette.
"We keep it to ourselves." I was standing by her chair, my short, light hair in my face. I was wearing a white tshirt, olive green shorts and suspenders of the same color.

"Yeah, that's right. Nobody wants to know so keep it inside, hmm?" I squeezed the rope that I was holding in my hand tightly while looking into my mother's eyes. They were watching me as any other time. That look in her eyes never changed. It was always strict and cold.
"Keep it inside." I whispered, turning around, looking at the duck which was connected to the other end of the rope. It was my favorite toy.
I left the room, leading the duck behind me.

"Keep it inside." I rearranged my hair, splashing some cool water on my face before leaving the restrooms.

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A/N
Hey everybody.
I am here with another update.
I am probably sick, but idk. I have been having temperatures and bad stomachaches for some time... but I hope it will be fine and nothing serious.
My updates are bad, I know, but I hope you will still enjoy the new chapter.
It would made me really happy if you left some comment or vote to support my work.
Remember to hydrate, I love you all!!