Throat Knife | Y.Jw

| 2.35 |

I wasn't able to administer what was happening around me, the blanket flashed before my eyes as a ripping pain went through my throat. Soon a tight restraint prevented me from moving as much as I was. It was almost like I couldn't breathe.

"Jungwon... Jungwon... Jungwon!" it had taken me a few minutes before realizing who it was that was screaming and who they were screaming for.

I was screaming for Jungwon, in pitch black darkness.

"What the fuck-" Jake's voice echoed out in a faint tone before fast footsteps echoed out and I felt myself get restrained from my movements by a tight engulf.

"It's fine... I'm here," a familiar voice whispered and placed a hand on the back of my head, pushing me into his shoulder.

I felt the tears in my eyes begin to spill out as I quickly wrapped my arm tightly around his torso, only pressing my face further into his shoulder as small whimpers began escaping my mouth.

"It's fine hyung... I got it," one short message and the door was closed to the room as I just quietly held him tighter.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry," I cried out as I grabbed to pull him closer to me, even though it wasn't really possible, "I didn't mean to-"

"Ji... calm down, will you?" Jungwon softly questioned as he tried to loosen my grip around him, "calm down... let go of me."

I simply shook my head as he forced my arms away from him, only making my sobs and wimpers come more quickly after one another. For some reason it only made me more scared when he had pulled me away from him and held me out in arm's length.

"Do you... remember?" he quietly whispered as I just tried to bite back my sobs, "Ji? Do you remember?"

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, "please don't leave me... don't leave me again."

"So you remember?" he whispered once again and I just nodded, "thank fucking god," he murmured before quickly throwing my arms over his shoulders and around his neck as he pulled me into a tight hug, "oh my god..."

"I'm so sorry," I whispered again, "I have been so mean and... and... and then you died and you hated me so much and-"

"Who said I died?" he murmured quietly as he ran a hand through my hair, "your dream?" he questioned and I just nodded against his shoulder before pressing my face into his chest, "I didn't hate you... I was frustrated with you. It made me mad you didn't remember me... I didn't hate you, and I don't hate you."

I stayed silent as I only tightened my grip around him and he hesitantly pulled me closer, attempting to pull me over into his lap, before I stopped him.

"Your thigh," I whispered and he simply shook his head.

"I don't care if it'll be sore," he shook his head at me, "please just..."

"I'm not gonna let you do anything that hurts," I shook my head as he slowly let go of me and I just stared at him with big eyes to see him better through the dark.

"Can I then... sleep in here?" he questioned and I quickly nodded at him, "then let's get sleep, okay? We'll talk in the morning... you need proper rest... and so do I."

Jungwon carefully got up from the bed and gut under the blanket beside me, looking over at me with a sad smile before laying down and spreading his arms for me. I carefully laid down in them before immediately turning around so my face turned to him and I just could lay and look at him while his hand came over to softly caress my waist.

"How long has I been-" I started before stopping myself when Jungwon turned his head to look at me.

"Unable to remember me?" he questioned and I quietly nodded, "two days with absolutely no recognition of who I was... and then... I think four or five days where you thought we still fought and bickered, not liking each other," he shrugged as if it was casual.

"I'm sorry," I murmured as my hand slid across his chest and I hugged him closer.

"It was well deserved after I did what I did to you that nigh t," he shook his head, "with my father... sure it hurt to hear you say you couldn't stand being within six feet of me... but it wasn't really you speaking... and I know that..."

"I'm so sorry," I whispered and he turned his head to look at me, a small emotion tugging at his lips.

"I'm just happy you remember again, okay?" he whispered and brushed my hair out of my face, "and that is the most important thing right now, got it?"

"Most important thing right now," I hummed with a small nod, "are you alright?" I quietly muttered, realizing how he just stared up into the ceiling. He didn't say anything, he just hummed before letting his hand just fall down to softly hold my waist instead of caressing it, "Jungwon... are you alright?"

"I'm scared you're only pretending to remember me," he whispered, "what if you wake up and forget that you remembered me?" he quietly turned his head to me, looking at me as if I could answer his questions.

"I won't forget again," I whispered, "and if I do you now have the permission to smack me," I remarked with a small laugh, which he didn't return, "you really don't believe I remember you?"

"What if you're just trying to be nice to me right now?" he questioned and I sighed before rolling over on my back and looked at him.

"Remember when we went riding together?" I questioned and he hummed, "you talked about how the birds were singing so prettily... you were so worried when I got that headache... screaming for Soomin when you rode back towards the farm... when we got to this house you had an anxiety attack because you thought you wouldn't be able to protect me... even if I didn't remember you properly right now, I think I'm pretty sure when I say that you care very much about me."

"But do you care about me?" he whispered as he turned his head to look at me.

"Did you completely miss me being in hysterics because I thought you had died?" I let out a small laugh as a new stream of tears began running down my cheeks and I had to reach up both my hands to wipe away the tears with my palms, "I couldn't breathe because I was absolutely terrified... you have told me how scared you are of being unable to protect me, but do you have any idea how terrified I am of losing you?"

"We were supposed to talk in the morning," he sighed and ran a hand over his face before turning over on his side to face me, "we should be sleeping right now."

"I don't want to sleep!" I let out a small complain, "I want you to understand how truly terrified I am."

"Ji... just come here," he whispered and tugged on my waist, to turn me towards him.

"No wait," I murmured and turned my back to him instead as I held my palms over my eyes as if it would stop my tears, "hold on," I whispered as I kept drying tears away.

Instead of waiting Jungwon just moved closer to me and wrapped his arm around my waist from behind, nuzzling his head into my neck while I could feel his chest pressing up against my back.

"Then we're just sleeping like this," he murmured, not giving me any chance to say anything against that decision.